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Thursday, September 16, 2010

A Day Filled with Ups & Downs

I started my day excited that I had put together a design for a branch of my work. I got to the point of having an opportunity to share with the owner and I froze in fear, a fear of rejection. I have not seem to have gotten past my Dad screaming at nurses when I was seven that he didn't know me & screamed for them to get rid of me. I know this is the root of the fear because it only rears its ugly head when I am confronted with a male authority figure & I get flash backs.

"Heavenly Father I renounce these feelings, I confess these feelings to you, I reject these feelings as the are not from you." In Jesus Christ Name Amen.

I was blessed by a friend that pushed me all the way into the owners office, I Praise God for putting her in my life. The Owner wanted one of my shirts to show the division it represents. Praise God. I was really Excited.
I was bursting at the seams to tell my Mom & my Kids.

I came home to the plumber fixing our pipe that has been leaking since before Christmas, the bill is in the mail. My Sister laying in the chair yellow as can be, the Dr. told her she was having complications from her dialysis, She isn't allowed to move around. She is in constant discomfort & pain. I sat next to her feeling helpless, so I prayed & asked my friends for prayer. My Sister's Husband came to pick her up, but we needed to get her car home so my Brother-in-Law told me he would drive her car and I could drive his Smart Car...wow...he trusted me to drive his baby. I'm not so sure I liked the accelerator on those Smart Cars. He drove me back & picked up my Sister, she could barely move, off they went home.

I sat down to my mail uh oh found two letters from FMEP, well my gut was right because my ex lives in Alberta they won't be enforcing my child support any more because my one Child is 18 & I couldn't afford a notary to sign the papers they want and want me to produce a written letter from a therapist or Dr. stating I spent the money appropriately for my child's services since 2002. I have determined that I really don't need this stress right now and I don't feel if their Dad can't do the honorable thing with out being forced that let it be, because he to will have to face our Heavenly Father. I know that God supplies our needs and even though we will loose his support I know I can trust my Heavenly Father to hold it all together. I have never fought to up my support because the kids come first and the money is not worth more than they are.

Father I lay my life at the foot of the cross, please help me keep it there.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer & petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Hebrews 5:7

" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes." Mark 9:23

"Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." Mark 14:36

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Mathew 5:10

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, Mathew5:44

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Romans 12:14

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