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Saturday, April 27, 2013

April 23, 2013

Psalm 27:4-6Isaiah 32:1-3Mathew 6:25-34,  Jeremiah 29:11Matthew 14:22-33

Dear Father,

You are my rock, my shelter. You are the great I am!

Father forgive me it has been a while since I wrote you. You have been doing some amazing stuff in my life!

Father after my last payday I had only $ 20. left to put gas in my tank, to get to work. I felt it was time for me to make it stretch, as far as i could.

I had Pastorate the following Tuesday and I was contemplating whether or not to go. I was using the excuse: I couldn't go because I didn't have enough gas to get there, so I wouldn't be going. You quickly removed that excuse as you whispered in my ear "You have two feet." You knew my heart, you knew the real reason I was avoiding Pastorate. I was avoiding Pastorate because I was avoiding confrontation with a Sister in Christ that had been trying to help me and it wasn't working the way she wanted it too. You have taught me to face my fears and this moment would be no different, as fear does not come from you. I Googled the walk to find out what was the best root and when I would need to leave, it would be approx. a 58 min walk and 4.6 km.

I was so glad I made the walk to Pastorate, as I so feel your love when I am there and it broke the ice on the conflict with my sister in Christ. I was told that I wouldn't be walking home, as it would be dark on the way home and that I should just ask if I need a ride next time. I have to say though I enjoy the walk as I get time to spend with you uninterrupted.

My week continued on and the unknown and uncertainty grew with it, as my heart and flesh waged war with each other. My heart knew you were in charge and would not forsake me and what ever happened would be your will and I would hold on to your promise. My flesh fell back to its old ways of stressing over the uncertainty and lack of control.

I was running out of Papayas and gas. I only needed to make it to Saturday night to fulfill the 40 days of the prophetic diet, that I knew was more about obedience and trust than it was about the diet. I still had money left on account at the produce store from the beautiful sister in Christ, but I had no gas to get there and it wasn't a walk that I could make before they closed, after my work day, the doubts started creeping in that I was going to make it until Saturday.

I started planning what I would do if or should I say when the gas ran out, as on top of it I had an extra day of work added in (which was great because it meant overtime, but not until my next pay check) meaning one extra day to figure out gas for and reinforcing my need to make a plan for when the gas ran out.

I Googled the shortest & safest route to walk to work and it would be 6.7 km taking an estimated 1 hr 26 min., only approx. 30 min longer than walking to Pastorate and unlike Pastorate it would be level, with the exception of some low grade hills. I felt it was definitely do able. I figured by Monday I would be walking.

I phoned Mom after work on Thursday to let her know I was on the way home, as I usually did.She asked me if I wanted to go to Costco as soon as I got home. I was so confused. My Mom had to my knowledge no money left, as her pension check didn't come in until the same time as my next paycheck. I had definitely had no money, so why would we want to go to Costco?? I have to say I had been praying for a miracle and boy did you deliver!! My mom told me that she had received in the mail today our dividend's cheque for Costco. Praise you for that Father!!

We went to Costco with Grocery list in hand and the plan to get a gift card for the gas as we wouldn't be able to get to the bank in time to deposit the cheque and Costco doesn't take cash at the pump. When we received the bill for the groceries and the gas it was only 1 cent off in our favor  Thank you Father for your provision!! Father forgive me for my week faith!! 

Father I lift the people of this world up to you Father, including my family, friends, little Brayan, the people of Global Shore , the people of Fraserway RV,  and the people of Guatemala. Father you know them by name, you know what they are facing, you know their hearts and you know what they need. Father I place them into your loving arms, please fill them with your Holy Spirit so they can bare much fruit, with your love so they know you are near, with your peace, strength and comfort so they can make it through the days ahead, with your mercy and grace so that they may walk with you and your faith so they can believe even when they cannot see. Father if they do not know you soften their hearts so they can see you, cut away with the sword of the spirit anything in their lives that is not of you. Father I pray your salvation over each and everyone of your treasures. Father above all things let your will be done.

Father I continue to ask you to break me, consume me and transform me into who you created me to be, allow my life to be a reflection of you! I know you don't need me Father but if it is your will use me. I surrender my life to you as a living sacrifice. I love you more than life itself.

In Jesus Precious Name through the Holy Spirit Amen. 

Monday, April 15, 2013

April 13/14,2013

Psalm 61:3-5, Psalm 91:1-3

Dear Father,

You are the great I am. Where I end you begin.

Thank you Father for the full nights sleep, for getting my bosses mom through heart surgery and for witnessing my boss thanking you for getting her mom through.

Thank you again for the sister in Christ that put aside money at the local produce and allowing her gift to multiply as after two visits to the produce store and filling our fridge and fruit bowl, there is still more left. Father through this blessing you have continued to provide a way for me to continue on eating the Papaya and olive oil, that you asked me too.

Father thank you for all those who prayed for me today, may you poor out an extra measure of blessing on them today and on their families, as their prayers helped sustain me, through your grace.

Father I took the medication the Doctor prescribed for my arm. Although I was able to have a nights sleep, I was feeling really sick from it, everything I ate had a metal taste to it and I am sure it is impacting my mood, as I felt heavily burdened and down, where before no matter what was coming my way I could rest in your peace and joy, today that was gone.

April 14, 2013

Dear Father Thank you for your presence of mind to stop taking the medication and I know now it was putting me into a depressive state, making me nausea and causing the metal  taste. Everything now is back to normal. My arm still hurts to move, but at least I am not feeling sick and down and out.

Father I lift the people of this world who are near and far from me, you know them by name, you know what they are facing and you know what they need. Father fill them with your Holy Spirit and cut away with the sword of the Spirit what is not of you in their lives. Father fill them with your mercy, grace, peace,love and joy. Father if they don't have a relationship with you draw them near to you and remove all the barriers that stand in the way.

Father I come to you asking for your forgiveness, as I fall short. Father break me, consume me and let your will reign in my life. Father take charge of my thought, my dreams, my spoken words and my actions.

In Jesus Name Amen.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

April 12, 2013

Luke 11:1-11, Philippians 1:8-10, Hebrew 5:13-14

Dear Father,

Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us day by day our daily bread.
And forgive us our sins,
For we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.”

....Oh Father where are the days we would recite this prayer in Churches and in Schools, as common practice? Father you have reminded me of how we were suppose to pray.

Father I rest in your promise as the waters start to rise.

Father today was a day filled with struggles, again. I think part of it is because I have been finding it difficult to sleeping the last couple of days because when I roll onto my arm the pain wakes me up. I am so tired.

Father I need your help and discernment, as I am faced with a situation with a sister in Christ. She so wants to help me, but her help comes at a great cost. She doesn't ask how she can help, but just goes ahead and does what she thinks I need and sets up before even speaking to me to find out if it is ok. I am left to feel like I am being treated like a child that needs someone to step in and take control because I am being deemed incompetent to think for myself and take care of myself. I grew up with that kind of help that thought I was to dumb and needed to be controlled and it came at a cost of myself, as I was programmed to ignore my needs and make everyone else happy. Father you set me free from that and I don't want to loose me again and fall back into that dysfunction. Father what she is asking puts demands on me that I cannot fulfill.

Father I know her heart is in the right place and she is now mad at me. I have had to decline and cancel all that she has set up. I just don't have the strength to deal with her anger and defensiveness right now, as it causes me to stress, that intern leads my body to physically shut down do to the PTSD. I know she needs to be in control and any discussion will lead to an argument and raised voices. Father can you intercede in this please.

Father I thank you for allowing the gas light to not come on before my paycheck, for the low cost of my prescription for my arm and for the nights sleep it allowed me to have.

Father I lift up to you my bosses mom, as she struggles with her heart and renal failure. Father this brings back memories of what my sister went through for years and the suffering and fear it caused. Father please flood her with your peace beyond understanding, your hope and love for her. Father I ask for you to place your healing on her, if it is your will.

Father so many are facing struggles of many kinds, right now. I lift them up to you. Father fill them with your Holy Spirit, your peace, mercy, grace, hope, joy and love. Father through you they can have great hope, but if they don't know you soften their hearts so the can see you, help them to find a relationship with you.

Father I lift up El Tizate and the school, in Guatemala, up to you. Father bless them and touch each of their lives in a way that you can to Glorify you.

Father I lift T, A, little B and my Mom up to you. Father draw them into a strong relationship with you, that makes things of this world grow strangely dim, guide them, protect them and fill them with your Holy Spirit.

Father I come to you asking for forgiveness because I have sinned against you. Father I ask that you take me to the river and wash me, so that I can be white as snow in your eyes. Father break me, consume me, I surrender to you, take charge of my thoughts, my dreams, my spoken words and my actions. Father let your will reign in my life, not mine.

In Jesus Name Through the Holy Spirit Amen.

Friday, April 12, 2013

April 11,2013

Mathew 8:23-27, Mathew 14:22-33, Mathew 16:5-12, Mathew 6:24-34, Jeremiah 29:11-12

Dear Father,

I know you are sovereign over everything and your plans are good and not to harm.

Father forgive me as my faith is taken over by doubts and uncertainty, of how we will get passed these times of struggles. I know you have continually provided in our times of troubles and have gotten us through. I know I need to trust you in this as well.

How come though I still get anxious and worried about our finances. Why do I continually allow this to become a strong hold on my life. Father please help me to let it go, because I am weak and you are strong. My mind keeps racing to find a solution and fix it, even when I know you are the answer.

Father I know this is only temporary, as it is only catch up from missing a paycheck, but my brain goes back to the fear of going backwards.

Father I know it was your will that I went to Guatemala, as it could not happen unless you provided and you did. I so miss walking with you the way we did there.

Father please take charge of my thoughts, my dreams, my spoken words and my actions. Father break me, consume me and free me from my will. Father let your will reign in me, fill me with your Holy Spirit. Father protect my family, friends and I from the author of lies.

Father help me to get out of the boat and walk on water with you. Help me not to lean on my own understanding, but on your sovereignty and promises.

Father I lift T, A, Little B and my mom up to you, guide them in your righteousness, place a hedge of protection around them and cover them with the blood of Jesus.

Father many of this world are facing something. Father fill them with your Holy Spirit, Your mercy, Your grace, Your Joy, Your peace and Your love. Father if they don't know you open their eyes and remove any barriers that are preventing them from coming into a relationship with you.

In Jesus Name Through The Holy Spirit Amen.   

Thursday, April 11, 2013

April 10, 2013

Psalm 27 , Psalm 62:2Psalm 31:3

Dear Father,

I have not wrote to you in a while, as I have been struggling to put into words what has been happening in my life. Through it all, Father I have not been alone as you have walked with me, filling me with your strength to get through and your peace that allows me to rest in your promise.

Father I was struggling in many ways last Saturday. I temporarily lost self control when the man was aggressive and ignorant at the second hand store, as we dropped of donations and he wanted to park where we were parked. H e was only considering what he needed and it didn't matter about anyone else and he was verbal about it and I was verbal back and shaking with temper, until you reminded me to recite out loud and repeat mercy and grace and the lady from the second hand store added peace. In repeating it over and over again, You reminded me that we are all sinners and you made a way for us all through your mercy and grace through your son Jesus.

Father the challenge continued as I found myself preparing to go out for dinner with my mom, as my brother-in-law invited us to go to dinner with him and his new wife and then we would go back to my sisters and his town house. My mom was needing to pack up the figurines my sister wanted her to have. I was faced for the first time going into my sisters home since she passed away, but thankfully I was not alone as my sisters and brothers in Christ were praying for me. Father you gave me the strength to make it through the night with bottled up tears and having to accept that things were moving on.

Father you are my rock and my shelter, you alone give me strength in times of trouble, through this broken world.

Father there are so many people of this world face many mountains and I can think of many within my walk that are facing mountains. Father I lift them up to you! Father bless them, fill them with your Holy Spirit, your love, mercy, grace, strength and peace, if they don't know you draw them close, soften their hearts so they can see you.

Father I also lift up to you little Brian. I so miss his love filled hugs. Father guide him to walk in your ways daily, fill him with your Holy Spirit and bless him.

Father I lift up to you my two children. Father guide and protect them and little Brian. Father cut a way with the Sword of the Spirit anything that is not of you and return it to the pit of hell where it belongs to never return, Bless my children Father, as they are your children as well.

Father I come to you for healing of my right arm, as the Doctor said I have a form of tennis elbow fro repetitive work. Father I thank you for my dad forcing me to right as a child with my right hand all though I was left handed, so that I can be ambidextrous. Father I also ask for your provision so I can make it to payday, two days away.

Father above all that I ask you break me, consume me and free me from my will, let your will reign in me and above all things let your will be done.
In Jesus name through the Holy Spirit Amen.  

Saturday, April 6, 2013

April 5, 2013

Isaiah 30:26Proverbs 3

Father you are greater than I could ever imagine, Your love is greater than I could ever know.

Father I thank you from the bottom of my heart for calling me into a relationship with you, that I could never have imagined. I heard a song once that said when we draw close to you the things of this world grow strangely dim. Thank you Father for drawing me close to you!

You are all that I can think of and  want now. Father you have brought me so far from that broken girl that hated you and despised any thought of you. Thank you for never giving up on me!

You alone have delivered me from the brokenness, as you carefully took one broken piece at a time and restored it perfectly back to where it belonged.

Father I know the work you have started in me is not finished yet. I know you will complete your good work that you have started in me.

Father I surrender, break me of myself, restore me completely to who you created me to be, let your light be all that people see when they look at me. Father let your Gospel flow out of me into those who cross my path.

Father help me to carry my cross well so that your Glory can be shown through what you have done in my life.

Father I love you more than life itself, give me the strength and wisdom to do your will in my life not mine. Help me to walk in the Holy Spirit daily.

Father I lift up the people of this world to you. You know them by name. You know what they are facing. You know what they need. Father fill them with your Holy Spirit, flood them with your Love, Joy, Mercy, Grace and Peace beyond understanding. Father cut away with the sword of the Spirit of You the things that are not of you and not pleasing to you and return them to the pit of hell where they belong to never return. Father if they do not know you draw them near, soften their hearts so that they can see you and want you. Lord Jesus Come.

In Jesus Christ Name through the Holy Spirit I Pray Amen. 

Thursday, April 4, 2013

April 4 2013

Philippians 4:5-7

Dear Father,

You are sovereign over all things and always present. You are Lord of Lords, King of Kings, the one and only true God.

Thank you for allowing me to take breathe into me this morning, for being present in my life and your continued provision. I was praying to you on Saturday, as I had no idea how I was going to continue on the 40 days of Papaya that the Holy Spirit through prophetic word had requested of me. I had no money to spend until the 12th of April, when I would receive my first full paycheck since my return from missions. You always knew it was possible, even when I was unsure, as you are the great provider.

Thank you for the sister in Christ that was faithful to you, as she approached me on Sunday wanting to help provide fruits and vegetables. Praise you for your love and provision!!

Father I come to you and lift up many that have had loved ones pass away and ask that you hold them, comfort them and protect them from the author of lies.

Father I also lift up to you my children. Father guide them, convict them and help them walk in the way you created them to be. Cut away with the sword of the Spirit anything in their lives that is not of you and return it back to the pit of hell where it belongs to never return.

Father I lift up to you all that are facing physical or emotional challenges and those who are fighting for their lives, comfort them, give them your peace beyond understanding and restore them to who you created them to be.

Father I lift up to you my mom, please Lord draw her close to you and help her to have an intimate relationship with you. Guide her and protect her Father.

Father I ask for your protection over my life, as I struggle with being able to focus and my dyslexia making it difficult to write these words. Father bind and arrest any demonic coming against me and those I care about. Father I am struggling with tiredness that only comes when I am trying to spend time in your word or praise and worship. Father I ask you to break me of all that is not pleasing to you. Father I surrender, take me and change me from the inside out and let your light shine. Father I ask that you take charge of my being and life, take charge of my thoughts, my spoken words, my dreams and my actions. Father let your will be done not mine.
 In Jesus Name Amen.

After much prayer and thought over what I heard while typing Day 8 in Guatemala I would have to say it was possibly the author of lies as this is the scripture my Father in Heaven brought me too: Mathew 24:23-28

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

April 3,2013

Genesis 22

Dear Father,

Father I Praise you for how merciful you are to me when I do not deserve mercy.I thank you for the grace you poor out in my life. Thank you for your redeeming me from myself and the path I was walking in sin.

Father I realize that I have been saying I'm all in but you are showing me that I am not quite yet, as you show me I have one more area in my life you are still working on. One area that I do not trust you enough to let go of and that is trusting you with my Mom's care. I know if it is your will you will for me to do something you will take care of everything.

Father I ask that you guide me, fill me with your truth and give me your strength to let go and place it in your hands.

Father I come to you as the Father to the Fatherless. I place my son in your hands and ask you to free him of the bondage of this world and show him that he is perfect and wonderfully made, as you created him. Father help him and teach him to walk in the you created him to.

Father there are so many grieving the loss of a loved one right now. Father we know they are not lost if they have a relationship with you, because there has been a place prepared for them in your mansion.

Father comfort those who have been left behind, flood them with your peace, grace and mercy. Fill them with your Holy Spirit and protect them from the author of lies.

Father I lift up the school, little Bryan and all who live in or come to El Tizate up to you. Father bless them and fill them with your Holy Spirit. Father if they don't know you remove all the barriers around their hearts and draw them close.

Father through your strength I ask that you consume me and take charge of every nook and cranny of my being and my life. Take charge of my thoughts, my dreams, my spoken words and my actions. Father let your will be done in my life, not mine.

In Jesus Name Amen.