You are my rock, my shelter. You are the great I am!
Father forgive me it has been a while since I wrote you. You have been doing some amazing stuff in my life!
Father after my last payday I had only $ 20. left to put gas in my tank, to get to work. I felt it was time for me to make it stretch, as far as i could.
I had Pastorate the following Tuesday and I was contemplating whether or not to go. I was using the excuse: I couldn't go because I didn't have enough gas to get there, so I wouldn't be going. You quickly removed that excuse as you whispered in my ear "You have two feet." You knew my heart, you knew the real reason I was avoiding Pastorate. I was avoiding Pastorate because I was avoiding confrontation with a Sister in Christ that had been trying to help me and it wasn't working the way she wanted it too. You have taught me to face my fears and this moment would be no different, as fear does not come from you. I Googled the walk to find out what was the best root and when I would need to leave, it would be approx. a 58 min walk and 4.6 km.
I was so glad I made the walk to Pastorate, as I so feel your love when I am there and it broke the ice on the conflict with my sister in Christ. I was told that I wouldn't be walking home, as it would be dark on the way home and that I should just ask if I need a ride next time. I have to say though I enjoy the walk as I get time to spend with you uninterrupted.
My week continued on and the unknown and uncertainty grew with it, as my heart and flesh waged war with each other. My heart knew you were in charge and would not forsake me and what ever happened would be your will and I would hold on to your promise. My flesh fell back to its old ways of stressing over the uncertainty and lack of control.
I was running out of Papayas and gas. I only needed to make it to Saturday night to fulfill the 40 days of the prophetic diet, that I knew was more about obedience and trust than it was about the diet. I still had money left on account at the produce store from the beautiful sister in Christ, but I had no gas to get there and it wasn't a walk that I could make before they closed, after my work day, the doubts started creeping in that I was going to make it until Saturday.
I started planning what I would do if or should I say when the gas ran out, as on top of it I had an extra day of work added in (which was great because it meant overtime, but not until my next pay check) meaning one extra day to figure out gas for and reinforcing my need to make a plan for when the gas ran out.
I Googled the shortest & safest route to walk to work and it would be 6.7 km taking an estimated 1 hr 26 min., only approx. 30 min longer than walking to Pastorate and unlike Pastorate it would be level, with the exception of some low grade hills. I felt it was definitely do able. I figured by Monday I would be walking.
I phoned Mom after work on Thursday to let her know I was on the way home, as I usually did.She asked me if I wanted to go to Costco as soon as I got home. I was so confused. My Mom had to my knowledge no money left, as her pension check didn't come in until the same time as my next paycheck. I had definitely had no money, so why would we want to go to Costco?? I have to say I had been praying for a miracle and boy did you deliver!! My mom told me that she had received in the mail today our dividend's cheque for Costco. Praise you for that Father!!
We went to Costco with Grocery list in hand and the plan to get a gift card for the gas as we wouldn't be able to get to the bank in time to deposit the cheque and Costco doesn't take cash at the pump. When we received the bill for the groceries and the gas it was only 1 cent off in our favor Thank you Father for your provision!! Father forgive me for my week faith!!
Father I lift the people of this world up to you Father, including my family, friends, little Brayan, the people of Global Shore , the people of Fraserway RV, and the people of Guatemala. Father you know them by name, you know what they are facing, you know their hearts and you know what they need. Father I place them into your loving arms, please fill them with your Holy Spirit so they can bare much fruit, with your love so they know you are near, with your peace, strength and comfort so they can make it through the days ahead, with your mercy and grace so that they may walk with you and your faith so they can believe even when they cannot see. Father if they do not know you soften their hearts so they can see you, cut away with the sword of the spirit anything in their lives that is not of you. Father I pray your salvation over each and everyone of your treasures. Father above all things let your will be done.
Father I continue to ask you to break me, consume me and transform me into who you created me to be, allow my life to be a reflection of you! I know you don't need me Father but if it is your will use me. I surrender my life to you as a living sacrifice. I love you more than life itself.
In Jesus Precious Name through the Holy Spirit Amen.