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Sunday, November 14, 2010

Thinking My Feet Left God's Path for Me.

I woke up this morning realizing I had stepped off the path but not sure how, but soon was to realize.

I was asked how does God speak to me.  God speaks through thoughts that pop into my head & the feelings around the thoughts get stronger as scripture, prayer & people’s actions contribute to that thought. The more I ignore it the peace that God has given starts fading till I finally get off my high horse and except what he is telling or asking me to do and then the peace floods back in. I find sometimes though it takes me longer to get it, God knows how my brain works. I find that I start noticing that the purse strings start getting tightened just like a parent does to a child when they continue to ignore their parents guidance. I find his provision gets noticeably different and it starts to get difficult to make ends meet. I realize this is probably because I am starting to take control back over my life & I start telling God you can have this bit but I know better for this part. I hope that makes sense. Please realize that I might not have this a 100% right as I am still learning & God is still teaching me.

When I woke I realized that yesterday I responded after a day of prayer for discernment for the orphanage. I found out that it is not like conventional orphanage as they rely on Grandmothers, Aunts and those willing to care for the orphans in a family setting in their homes. The Mwanza Orphanage Project began in 2007. They now fundraise to support 56 orphans. They provide their basic needs such as schooling, food, clothing and misc., things that crop up & they can find funds for.

I also contacted a Missionary Organization, the difference was I didn't pray for discernment over this I just jumped in. I have a habit of being like a dumb sheep, I get on a thought & I run to it without thought, but I find my Shepard is pulling me back much quicker now. When I explained what was going on to my children this morning my daughter said "Mom haven't you learned to do one thing at a time so you know what is yeah & what is neah", wisdom of children......She also said "Mom what happens when we commit to something without asking you first & it doesn't fit into the plan you pull the parenting rank and say you didn't ask first so the answer is no!" wisdom of children, I got it. My Heavenly Father wants me to come to him first & ask does this fit into his plan for my life & I need to listen & understand that it isn't for me to understand right now but the answer could be no or it could be me needing to learn. Time to set some time aside to pray about this.

Show me my sins that I'm not aware of. 

      If I've done what is wrong, 
      I won't do it again.' 
  But you refuse to turn away from your sins. 
      So God won't treat you the way you want to be treated. 
   You must decide, ....... I can't do it for you. 
      So tell me what you know. 
Job 34:32-34 (NIR Version)

he tells them what they have done—
   that they have sinned arrogantly.
He makes them listen to correction
   and commands them to repent of their evil.
If they obey and serve him,
   they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity
   and their years in contentment.
Job 36:9-11 (New International Version)

This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
   “In repentance and rest is your salvation,
   in quietness and trust is your strength,

Isaiah 30:15

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