I am starting to see the effects poverty had in directing my life. Today at lunch my coworkers started talking about the lottery, after a big win locally. They started talking about how a million dollars really isn't much these days when you consider house prices averaging around a 1/2 a million. The conversation then switched to the cost involved in raising children & how some had spent thousands on orthodontics dentistry for their children. I felt once again the insecurities of poverty. I could barley afford the basics for my children.
Thoughts of failure started creeping into my head and how I had let my children down by not affording something that didn't seem to be a big deal to those around me. I started thinking, is this where the isolation of poverty begins. Do we when we experience poverty go into self isolation so we don't have to be faced with conversations that make us feel inadequate, does this feed into the poverty of being.
I wonder if this is the wall we create that prevents us to reach beyond our circumstances because we are afraid we won't fit in, will be forced to face our poverty & the humiliation that comes with it, could this be what has held me back from experiencing the great plans God has for my life. Have I idolized my poverty, have I made it the center of my life unknowingly. Have I worn a mask that stops people from knowing the true me do to shame.
Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. Isaiah 54:4 (NIV)
Father thank you for opening my eyes, give me your strength & guidance to remove the barriers that I do not know are in my heart & the ones you are showing me. Help me to not be afraid, remove my humiliation & shame of circumstances. Help me celebrate the place you have me at, help me move to where you want me. In Jesus Christ Name Amen.
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