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Monday, November 8, 2010

Beginning of the trial that lead up to the Understanding of My Saviour & My Salvation.

After being baptized, I started noticing changes of thought & how I viewed the people around me.

March came around and I found myself rushing my daughter to emerge, this had started to become a regular occurance  as she would have difficulty breathing.

 She was diagnosed by our local hospital with Asthma almost 5 yrs. earlier, so when she had difficulty breathing it would be like what they call here Russian Rulet (not intending to offend anyone with this title) do I take her to the emerge or do I not because half the time I would get told I shouldn't bring her. The other half the times I decided to stay at home & eventually took her in I would get yelled at why didn't you bring her in earlier. There was no right answer.

March though seem to be different, we were sitting with the nurse giving her all the info & she went into anaphylactic shock the nurse ended up giving my daughter her epi pen. She was admitted with Asthma aspiration & would be in the pediatrics for just shy of two weeks. I would be in a mig shift bed next to her the whole time. My mom would look after my son. Near the end of her stay they would deam that she was now suffering from panic attacks do to her fear of stopping breathing as during her stay a medication they gave her caused her to go into anaphylactic shock & she almost ended up in ICU. So they gave her a medication for the panic attacks and she was released with an appointment to see a respologist at our children's hospital.

We were in and out of emerge up until that appointment now not knowing was it Asthma, was it reflux, was it a panic attack and wishing I had a medical degree. One night my daughter was feeling chest pains, I told the doctor the list including the panic attacks he gave her Morphine & Valium, this didn't touch her chest pains,  the nurse came in and said she would be unable to give her anymore, as she was crying in pain, as her blood pressure was to low. The Dr. came in a few minutes later and told me he was giving her another shot of Morphine & I was to give it to her every hour on the hour for the next four & if it didn't work bring her back. My daughter was 16, every red flag in my body went off. I left emerge and got on our freeway and headed straight to childrens hospital, by the time we got there she started hallucinating spiders, I thought nothing of it as I thought it was probably the Morphine & Valium. Children's said she shouldn't have been given the Valium & Morphine especially  at her age. She was having a panic attack & they sat and explained it to her so she could understand & told her what to do something our hospital hadn't. They sent us home.

We went to the respologist appointment to find out those five years we thought my daughter had Asthma, she didn't, she had never had Asthma. We would find out later that she had a vocal chord dysfunction that would put her vocal cords into spasms making it difficult to breath & the only cure for it was learning to exercise her vocal cords. Vocal Chord Dysfunction is common for people who sing & she sings. 

We walked out of that appointment with so many emotions, anger, shock, confusion, shattered. We had put our trust in a system, in people that were suppose to protect us & make us feel better. Our trust was broken.

By the next week we were finding ourselves being plucked off the freeway after the hallucinations returned & my daughter tried getting out of our van at 100 km/h on the freeway. She was no longer coherent to us being present all she knew was we were being attacked & killed. The fire department & paramedics came to our rescue.

My son's first response when it all started happening was to grab the bible he didn't know I had in the van and started reciting scripture. Then my mom told him to look up Psalm 23:

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 

 He makes me lie down in green pastures, 
he leads me beside quiet waters, 
 he refreshes my soul. 
He guides me along the right paths 
   for his name’s sake. 
Even though I walk 
   through the darkest valley, 
I will fear no evil, 
   for you are with me; 
your rod and your staff, 
   they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me 
   in the presence of my enemies. 
You anoint my head with oil; 
   my cup overflows. 
Surely your goodness and love will follow me 
   all the days of my life, 
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD 

We ended up saying Psalm 23 together as we tried to get through to her, this began a journey that would change our lives.

Over the next several months would be the fight of our lives with over 60 911 calls, my daughter being labelled a rebelling temper tantrum-ming teen, yes these are the words that came out of a Psychiatrists mouth, My heart & soul new different. We were lied to, we were rejected by several Dr.'s & Nurses, one Nurse told my daughter that it was dangerous to cry wolf as she was checking her into emerge. I had a Dr.' tell me that I wasn't to bring her back to emerge & when I said that this was 911 protocol, I was told not to call 911. 

I found myself not having a choice, I had to call 911 because I couldn't keep her safe. They asked me Police, Fire or Ambulance, I found myself balling into the phone I don't know because emerge told me not to call you. We were blessed one 911 call, this was a God send the ambulance was an ambulance from a neighboring community & we were half way between hospitals so they could take her there & I finally got a video of what she was going through & what she was going through was definitely not a tantrum. The Dr. brought up seizures & suggested she get referred to a neurologist, the sad part is it was to late for him to connect us & I knew our Dr. wouldn't as he believed it was all in her head, but I knew it wasn't. We got to the point that we did our best to get through it without 911. We started experiencing spiritual warfare amongst    the attacks she would experience. Her normal attacks would be Mom I'm not feeling good and I would be barely able to grab her before her body would go limp & she would drop.

I hate to leave you hanging but it is late here & my daughter is bugging to get onto the computer to register for student loans. I will cont. soon, but night for now.

Part 2 of Beginning of Trial that Lead Up to the Understanding of My Saviour & My Salvation

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