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Monday, January 31, 2011

Updating Many Things

First update, my Dad.

My Dad is still in hospital & they are still not giving out any information about his condition, do to the privacy act & I haven`t been able to connect with the Social Worker or Occupational Therapist they have assigned to him. I do know though they are trying to rehabilitate him to send him home to his apartment where he lives alone & really is not capable of caring for himself anymore. His Keys & wallet are still missing.

I am scared for him that the vulture`s called family start swarming him. I constantly get asked why I care so much for someone who really was not there for me growing up. My answer is I don`t have to like the actions but I still love the man called my father and it would be different if he made his choices, separate from the mental illness he has fought for years. I know I am hurting my Mom as she watches me care for a Man that never really was in my life or supported me & because she was the one who raised us on her own & had to make it through the struggles of being a single Mom & the abuse she endured through the marriage, but I can`t turn off my feelings.

Second update, my Sister.

My Sister was admitted to hospital on Sunday after her dialysis. When we got there to pick her up you could here her screaming in pain across the ward. Her legs were going through massive cramps.Most people would stand up and walk them off but she can`t stand do to the one leg that she shattered her knee camp on the scale at the hospital & her other leg that is massively swollen and red hot with infection that they don`t know what is causing it. I find it very difficult to listen to my sisters screams of pain as it brings this overwhelming need to rescue her from her pain but then you come back to reality that there is nothing you can do to take her pain away. They have admitted her to try to get to the bottom of what is happening to her leg & to try to manage her pain so she can get rest.

Third update, my Daughter.

She is struggling to figure out how to deal with all the family crisis's & the flood of memories that are coming back from when she was seizing, I so was hoping she would not have to relive but I no this is a necessary part of healing for her. She is seeing someone through Victim services & I pray this helps. She is stressed because she had finally found a Dr. She could trust but now she is gone on maternity leave & we have been told to find another Dr. if they only knew how hard this was going to be as we have had multiple broken trust in this area.

Forth update, my Son.

Or should I say my trooper. He was sick for the weekend but is feeling better. He just started a new semester at school & is looking forward to his new classes. I do worry about him though as he has difficulty communicating his feelings & has a habit of trying to be the man of the house and protecting us.

 I also no he is a great actor as we wrapped a DS game under some Christmas cards in a box for his Birthday & he jumped up and down in excitement that he got Christmas cards and was proceeding to sit it down when we said if we knew we could get off that easy. What a monkey.

Fifth Update, HGTV Show.

Thursday they came to the house & spent 7 hrs. doing interviews with us individually & then a walk through tour of the house with my daughter & I.  I have to say the hardest part of that day was when they wanted to film us while cooking dinner & eating dinner as a family. I was so mean I no the one or two word triggers to get either my son & daughter debating or my daughter & my mother so the camera would be on them so I could eat in peace being I don`t like eating in front of people. We should here in about a week wheter or not we will be filming the actual show mid February or some other time before June.

Sixth Update, Mom.

My Mom is finally hitting the breaking point. She is loosing her empathy & her feelings are shutting down & anger is taking its place as everything around her is falling apart. She is so crippled by the pain her body is dishing out & this is frustrating her as well. I fear for her and the amount of medications she is on & the fact she is still seeing the Dr. who use to care for my daughter & this worries me.

Seventh update, Me.

I feel so blessed by the strength & peace God has renewed in me once again. God cont. to bring songs, people & scriptures to me as I need them. I made a choice to return to work today now that all my troubles are placed back at the foot of the cross. I am now back to looking forward to the pages of my life in front of me waiting in anticipation to what God is going to do next.

I spent all day Saturday at my Dad`s apartment taking pictures for the Social Worker & at the hospital visiting Dad. Sunday I went to Church & was enjoying the Sunshine when we ended up spending the rest of the day with my sister in a different hospital.

I was thinking & trying to figure out tithing as I don`t have control of my money & every time I bring it up to my Mom it is well once we get caught up on our bills we can, the only problem with that is we never catch up. When she gives me a few bucks I try to donate as much as possible but I know it is no where near 10% of my income but I can`t get past the fight.

Please continue to pray the prayer at the top left of this page. Thank you!

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