I have been committing my thoughts to focus on Jesus's Merci & Grace, by doing this I am noticing a change. Change is definitely a good thing at this point. I am noticing my out look for the day is changing to a more positive one as I find Jesus's guiding me through the holy spirit to be sensitive to what he is doing in my life.
I started writing this and the beginning has become the end as I prayed that God would open my eyes to the mercy & grace that I witnessed when we were going through the over 60 911 calls, after I prayed the memories started flooding back but they were different this time. The Memories were of moments that God is telling me remember when this all began & you were driving on the freeway & your son brought out the bible that he didn't know was in the vehicle & started resiting bible verses as your daughter was going through her first episode(seizure we know now), remember your mom sitting next to you reciting scripture & asking your son to look up certain verses, I was there. Remember the fireman that helped get you off the freeway & were talking to your daughter with kindness & care, I was there. Remember every time after when your family had to call 911 to here a calming voice of care on the other end, I was there. Remember the countless faces of firefighters, paramedics & police officers that came to your aid in compassion, empathy and care, I was there. Remember when the church you are attending circled around you in support & were available day & night at a moments notice & the relationships you ended up building with the body of Christ, I was there. Remember when you had no money to pay your bills and in perfect timing the exact amount you needed was put in front of you & most of the time by a anonymous donation, I was there. Remember when your boss told you that they had put out a collection to help you from work & your co-workers donated without hesitation, I was there. Remember when an ambulance came from the town beside yours & was able to get you to the hospital in their town & did, I was there. Remember when the nurse at that hospital went to the same place your daughter did for the summer & new her, I was there. Remember when you heard seizures from that hospital for the first time & a seed was planted, I was there. Remember when a perfect stranger heard your tears because you couldn't afford the parking at the hospital, she turned around & paid your parking for a week, I was there. Remember when you found out your kids birth Dr. was practicing out of the clinic in the town you once lived in. I was there. When you cried out to me that you couldn't do this anymore on your own, I was there to dry your tears & take your burdens from you & place them in my hands. Jesus was walking with me from beginning to the end. When I was unable to stand on my own no longer he carried me. I know now he is telling me it is ok, he is holding on to me and it is time to put my feet back on the ground & walk with him.
Now back to the beginning which has become the end. Over this last bit as I refocus I have noticed the Merci & grace through the compassion & care coming out of my co-workers as tragedy brings us closer together as more of a family.
I also realized today & I had thought about it briefly in the past, but every time I do my Job I have experienced God's Merci & Grace on many levels. Merci by allowing me to work at a place that allows me to be open & practice my faith. I can listen to 106.5 without fear of judgement. I can read my bible in the lunch room without fear. Best of all I am not criticized for speaking openly about my faith. in some places in this world I would be crucified for doing this. Thank you Jesus For your Grace & Merci!
I have also come to the conclusion it is through God's Merci & Grace that I am able to do my job. I am realizing that the Holy spirit guides me & when I listen I am able. Praise Jesus for the Merci & Grace he has given in the Holy Spirit to guide me.
I will still be learning & I probably always will be, but through Jesus all things are possible as he guides me through my day.....I can look towards the future with the knowledge the war that is being waged has already been one when our Saviour Jesus Christ was Crucified on the Cross.
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