Dreamer, Moth and Quick Sand

I have determined that I am a Dreamer with Ideas that grow like the beans stock in Jack and the Bean Stock, because of this I can get carried away really quickly. Growing up I had always had big dreams, my mom can contest to that. I remember as I child asking Santa for what we know as a song by Amy Grant "Grown-Up Christmas List" this song represents that list I wrote to Santa as a child. I have always dreamed of a perfect world with no more pain & suffering, where every child never went hungry, where love never dies.

I have never stopped being a dreamer. I hurt & I am in pain when I see some one suffering or hurting. I can't walk by when there is a need I can help fill. I need to look for ways to serve people no matter where I am. I suffer when I hear people speak down about others.

I was mowing the lawn tonight, on one of our rare sunny day's we have gotten, I was mowing along when I came across a moth, it wouldn't move out of the path of the lawn mower it appeared to be getting caught in the long grass with no way of escape. I thought of this as a representation of life. When I came near to help it, it would show me it's dark plain coloured surface, not willing to show me anymore. I'm much like this when I am out in public and not hiding behind a computer screen. I can see God working on this part of me as I am put more and more into the public eye. I finally with a little time I was able to get the moth to let me pick it up and as I did this I saw what it was hiding a beautiful vibrant with full of colour & beauty.  My Dreams are much like the moth I keep them hidden away to protect myself from failure. I know this is why I live in a life filled with sinking sand as I allow the world around to pull me deeper and deeper as I try to fight my way out and every time I think I'm there I get pulled right back down.

I am going to share with you some of my dreams I haven't been willing to let go of the hope that one day they would no longer be dreams, but reality.

I was given a vision of a Community Therapy Centre in 2008 for the community of Special Needs that would access all of the resources needed & so much more in one place, reachable by anyone no matter what their income. A full Circle of life Therapy Centre.  Everyone was put into place that got this Dream to a complete Business Plan, the only thing missing was the start up money.

I was given a passion to go to Kenya on a Missions trip to eventually go long term and work with children with any challenge they face and give them Hope! The only thing missing is the money to support my family I will leave behind & the money to go over. I still am passionate about doing this one day.

I have a dream that one day there will be a law to protect our health care workers & the patients they serve, by creating mandatory down time that already exists for our commercial truck & bus drivers as well as some rail employees.

These three are my main Dreams in life, I though have to get past reality that I live in poverty and currently don't have a means of income.

I am a dreamer in this area as well as I had this big plan on how to do detailing at home and how perfect it would be until the reality that I am fighting something that has totally zapped my ability to sustain doing detailing full time. I had let this dream grow with all the big ideas to promote it, but now this was a dream of expectations that were not realistic.

I am now working on getting my photography off the ground as this is something that I can do even with the roller coaster of energy and pressure on my head. I have big ideas to produce a line of canvas photo's, Limited Prints, Greeting cards, note pads & books, mugs t-shirts the options are unlimited, but now if I wasn't living in poverty I could just go out and do it. I will have to wait and see how tomorrow goes as I meet with a group called Community Futures that help unemployed people become self employed, we'll see. I'm hoping I can arrange to keep a portion of my sales to Missions as I try to grow this new company.

I'm about to make one dream happen as I prepare to donate my hair for wigs that will be given to cancer patients. I have already grown this into a fundraiser as well. I will be taking a vote: to only take the necessary 12in. to donate off or to donate all my hair and have it all shaved off. Each vote would be a minimum donation of $5. I still have to name this fundraiser to register it with the Canadian Cancer Society & determine a date. I am doing this in memory of a dear friends mother who lost her battle with Cancer last Aug.

My head is already reeling with the possibility of growing this into a larger event, by arranging for the community stage & putting a call out to all the local musicians to donate their time to preform in an open air concert for cancer. I also had the idea of inviting all the local artisans to sell their wares with a donation for doing so going to the Canadian Cancer Society. I would also like to approach local grocers and restraunts to set up a community BQ with donations going to the Cancer society. Making this a Community event I know is a dream because my shyness and my lack of confidence would probably stand in the way but I will still be a dreamer with hope that all things are possible to those who believe.


My biggest dream in my life is to follow Jesus with nothing that would stand in the way of doing this, I believe one day!!!

Father thank you for allowing me to be a dreamer, please father help me to not waist the dreams you have put on my heart. Help me to make them a reality but most of all let your will be done.