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Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Big Call, Graduation, and God's Truths, We Do not Always Want to Here.

Friday morning I woke early as normal, this left plenty of time before the MP would phone me. I would also have plenty of time for my nerves to get the best of me, oh did I get a stomach ache. I went on Facebook and put a call out for prayer: "Prayers please as I have a call set up this morning to speak with an MP back east in 50 min. about our health care and I so want God to take over the conversation and for his will to be done through it."

9 am finally arrived & the phone rang. I answered it and this voice came over the phone that sounded just as nerves as I was, she had not had the chance to prepare for the call as she usually did. We started talking and it came very apparent by how easily the conversation flowed that this was definitely a 100% God steered conversation. I was shocked as the MP kept on thanking me for taking the time and doing the leg work, this felt very strange as I really didn't make any effort as everything had just fallen into place. The MP was enthusiastic and told me that she wanted to now approach this internationally to get their feed back to see if anyone had approached this before. Wow talk about God taking my Prayer and taking it way past my expectations, Wow. The Mp also mentioned that she would register it into the library of parliament & discuss it with her colleges and so much more. During our conversation when the Mp brought up that back where she lives some of the Health Care workers would have to drive more than an hour after working those long shifts & she wondered if it was the same out here. God used that moment to bring up a memory, a memory of long ago, as I told her it was the same out here. I told her I can remember back when I was much younger having to stop after watching a car go into the ditch. A gentleman & I had to pull a lady out of the ditch. The lady was a nurse she had just finished a long shift and had fallen asleep at the wheel. I also told her the sad part about that is that nothing really has changed over the years. The MP I was talking to was also a doctor, who use to be a family practitioner that use to deliver babies and when her husband put together a slide for her 50th there was pictures of her holding the new babies with the new parents and she said she could see the exhaustion in her face. You see babies don't have a schedule when they are going to come and she would deliver them at all hours and then would get up the next morning as usual and start the days of appointments. God so ruled that conversation.

Graduation is such a time of Celebration, but this one was a little extra special as my baby boy that I was told when he was diagnosed at the age of 9 I would grieve the milestones that he wouldn't share with his peers when He was diagnosed with HFA/ADHD, is about to graduate with his peers. My son has overcome many challenges to get to this point. He was not aloud to attend more than 2.5 hrs of school a day until Grade 6, do to his Autism. During grade 9, he managed to get on the honour roll at school and by grade 11 he was on the foot ball team. I look back at this journey he has been on and so see God's hand in it, with all the supports & people God has brought into his life, even if just for a brief moment, to nurture the seed inside of my son to let 
it grow into the man he is today. I Praise God for my son's life!

Today at Church our Pastor had to preach on the next part of Mark (Mark 10:1-12), we have been going through the book of  Mark from the beginning, this is a subject that can be very controversial Divorce. I was so glad he didn't shy away from this subject like most do. I have bee n divorced now for around 18yrs and I truly didn't understand the true weight of the verse 7-9, I know have witnessed to this verse as for almost all of those 18 yrs. my soul was hemorrhaging from the separation of our marriage. I had not realized why the great impact, why no matter how hard I tried I could not separate myself from caring and feeling connected to my ex-husband, no time would heal the deep connection. I now know why after attending prayer counseling and now hearing this passage why it was so difficult. When you are married God  takes your two souls & through his holy power makes them united into one and this is why he states in the Bible that "therefore what God joined together, let no one separate." He states this because the only one who can remove the tie of the souls when one man is joined in marriage to one women is God himself. When we commit to marriage we do not really take the time to understand this commitment in its fullest and I think if I had to do it over again with the knowledge God has given me now I would think long and hard before making this commitment and would have to be ready to except any and all of what this commitment to marriage means. 

Our Pastor also mentioned the overview of the whole book of Mark and what it represents and as he mentioned this I felt like I had a light bulb go off in my head, one of those aha moments. Mark 8:34 talks about denying yourself to follow Christ and I think this might have been a light bulb moment of understanding.
What I heard was we must deny ourselves meaning that we are at war fighting a battle with in ourselves on a daily basis between us & our walk to follow Jesus. When Jesus states to deny ourselves I think he is talking about our plans and thoughts that take our focus away from focusing on him and that we need to deny these thoughts and follow his direction for our lives, by taking up our crosses and making ourselves living sacrifices to follow him.

I really feel the Holy Spirit is calling me to quit making plans for my future and to only focus on today as I keep on being brought back to Mathew 6:34, this making plans I think is what God is asking me to deny myself on right now. I am not finding this an easy thing to do as I am a type of person that needs to know the beginning end & middle of everything I do. 

Father thank you for your truths that you give me in your word. Help me to not pass over the parts of your word that make me squirm in my seat with discomfort. Please Father give me the strength & desire to deny myself on a daily basis. Father I am weak and I stumble help me to follow you faithfully. In Jesus Christ Name Amen.

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