Vigil, Prayer's and Remembering

Tonight, my Brother in Law came to the door. He was baring news I wasn't ready to hear. He went to the hospital to pick my sister up from her dialysis, that we had dropped her off earlier at, when he was told she had a heart attack and her heart had stopped for 30 seconds and they were about to resuscitate her when she came back. We sit, we wait & we pray as the next 24 to 48hrs are critical. My heart is telling me that her body has been slowly shutting down, does this mean her heart is next in line. I feel so numb as this becomes so surreal as the reality that my big sister at the age of 49 could be leaving us. How do you use the next 48 hrs. do you sleep while your sister clings onto life, I'm not thinking so.

I remember having this vigil once before, I believe I was 16/17. I had driven into town to visit my sister & her husband, she told me I should stay the night. I curled up on their couch and fell off to sleep. I woke up the next morning my brother in law had already left for work. He had given my sister her insulin before he left and had got her up for breakfast. I went looking for my sister, I walked into their bedroom to find my sister bug eyed laying, buck naked in her bed, she had gone back to sleep before getting her breakfast and was in insulin shock and was non responsive. I called my Mom because I had no clue what to do. She told me she would call me right back it was only moments but it felt forever. She called me and let me know she had called the emergency number and they were on there way and that I needed to go to the exterior door and wait for them. The Fire department came and tried to resuscitate my sister till the ambulance came to take her to the hospital, I road in the ambulance all the way to the hospital, I was so scared, was my sister going to die, what if I had just woken up sooner would she have been ok. We got to the hospital and they rushed her through some doors I was not aloud. I was all alone my family was an hour away from getting there. We were told that day that my sister had died for 30 min. before they were able to bring her back.

I learned that day how to wake up completely on the first ring of the telephone, because I feared it would be the dreaded call that something happened to my sister. I now live that reality again as the next call could be the one that tells me she is gone. The Irony of today is this is the One year anniversary of the passing of my Nana and now we wait for news of my Sister.

My Big Sister,

this picture was taken a year ago.

Father thank you for the knowledge of heaven, where we will come to sit at your table if we accept what your son Jesus Christ has done for us. Father I don't know if my sister has asked Jesus into her life and I fear not ever seeing her again. Father, Lord of all, I petition on behalf of my sister Lord that you come to her in a real way tonight and show her without a doubt, so she will commit herself to Jesus. Father she suffers in excruciating pain from the tips of her toes to the tip of her head, father release her from this pain and shower her with a peace beyond understanding. Father let her know that if it is her time to come to you that it is ok as we can't ask her to suffer anymore for our selfish reasons. In Jesus Name Amen.