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Friday, July 15, 2011

Assumptions, Arguments, Problems and Weeds

I found myself this last couple of days debating issues over Facebook.

I found myself debating the subject of bringing lawyers into an issue. Lawyers have their place but I believe we are now finding that people jump to Lawyers now before any other processes attempted. We ask why people won't admit there mistakes. People have asked me why I don't go after an apology from the people responsible for doing this to my child. I only have one answer there is no point because we live in a time that people are afraid to admit they have made a mistake for fear of it setting themselves up for having lawyers sicked on them and the cost this would result in. We live in a society that lives in fear of being sued if they admit to doing anything wrong.  I have been asked why don't you get a lawyer and make them pay for what they did to your family. I feel suing them will not take away what happened or what we went through. I feel if anything it will stop the ability to create change as it would put everyone's backs up.

I am approaching the source of the problem and like removing a weed from the garden I need to get to the root of the problem or it will just grow back. I have lodged a complaint with the Fraser Health Authority as I feel they should be given a chance to right the wrong and make changes that can be put in place to prevent this from happening to any other family. What we went through has already been written and can not be changed but I feel that the future is something that is unwritten yet and well worth fighting for and at least something good can come from something so bad. I have asked for:

  • the removal of a Dr.'s rights as I feel he is part of the root of the problem that if not removed will result in the problem growing back for another family.
  • for there to be put in place a better communication between first responders and Dr.'s as I have learned through my previous job writing up work orders for RV's that when writing something it can be clear to you but the person who reads it later it can be a different story. I found by the time the Dr. & Nurses saw my daughter what she had been going through was over and the only witnesses were the first responders, making them a critical part of my daughters treatment.
  • for mandatory down time for the health care workers as I felt this played a part in what we went through. I witnessed many visibly exhausted and visibly working past their human limitations Nurses & Dr.'s on multiple occasions. Have you ever worked an overtime shift working 12 plus hours in a row, if you have you had to of observe the effects on your decision making, this is a regular expectation on our health care providers and the time between their shifts can be very short. I have found studies that support the fact that there is a subsequent impairment that can effect critical thinking, reduce the ability for empathy and not allowing thinking past the train track you are on for thinking. 

I believe taking this route will create the greatest chance for change bettering the future for many.

I also have been debating the issue of assumption verses fact. I have a real problem when people make assumptions and speak on them before getting the facts and I have to make them aware of the flawed thinking and the painful consequences that can result. I have lived my life faced with lots of peoples assumptions as a divorced single parent of a child with Autism, but the most painful assumption that I have been faced with was the assumption put on my daughters & my characters as a system that was put in a place of trust made the assumption that I was an attention seeking parent with a temper tantrumming teen and the assumptions formed by those who were not witness to what we were going through. We were a victim of those assumptions and we went through great pain as we were continually facing those assumptions on a daily basis as we fought for my daughters and our families life back, the facts were not being acknowledged. The facts being  my daughters history:
  • showed no signs of a child who was acting out, through school or any other areas of her life.
  • she was a disciplined student who received low A's high B's and at the point this started had mor than enough credits to graduate.
  • she volunteered at the children's ministry at church and volunteered as a camp counselor during her summers.
  • she saw a need around her she did her best to help, she would hold doors open for people without being prompted.
  • she had a drive to attend University and was focused on doing everything she needed to do to get there, as she wants to become an elementary school teacher. She had no reason to want to muck that up.
  • she was found not to have ever had Asthma that she had been diagnosed with in grade 7 and was proven to have a vocal cord dysfunction and soon as this was known she was taught to exercise her vocal cords resulting in never having a breathing issue again.
  • she is extremely drug sensitive, Benydryl, Nasalcort, Penysil, Colace & some others cause her to go into antiphilactic shock, she gets hives from Reactine.
I feel their was no evidence of fact that would lead to the diagnoses of a temper tantuming teen, which would lead to the assumption that she was a child of a single parent with a brother with Autism, conclusion she is temper tantruming, this assumption has lead to great pain. I can not stress this enough that if you are going to draw a conclusion about a situation and verbalize it you need to be prepared to find out all the facts out first or risk creating deep pain and hardship for someone.

In James 3:1-12 it speaks about taming the tongue.

Father thank you for all that you have done for us. Help us react to situations out of love & truths, not out of judgments & assumptions. Help us to see what you see and fight injustices against the oppressed people. Let our arms and feet move where you want them to and speak what you want us to speak. Father it is impossible for us to tame our tongues with out you, please Father take hold so we don't become part of the problem. In Jesus Christ Name Amen.

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