God showed me his love for me & brought me to a trust in him that I have never experienced before. I look back now and well I was going through the trials & I went to an Alpha retreat with my daughter, it was the last retreat I had gone on, the week leading up to that retreat God had put Kenya on my heart. I had a hint of an idea why I had no Idea where this place was. I had to look it up on the internet where I found out it was in Africa. I did not know then that God was planting a seed in my heart. After God delivered me from the fear & anxiety of the trials, he had started to put Kenya back on my heart and through circumstances, prayer & scripture.
Mathew 4:19; Mark 1:17; Mathew 16:24; Mark 8:34; Luke 9:23; Mathew 19:21; Mark 10:21; Luke 18:22.
I knew he was asking me to trust him with every corner of my life and follow him to Kenya. Don't get me wrong wasn't as easy as it sounds, I am a hard nut to crack. I gave God every excuse I could that would stop me from doing what he was asking and make it feel right to me. God wasn't willing to give up on me. I found myself arguing with him while I was at work and still speaking out the excuses when a coworker who was not working in my area came into the area I was working on and gave me his testimony about when God had asked him to stay on missions in China longer and the excuses he gave of why he couldn't and how God took care of the details in ways it could only be him. The final turning point was when we had a guest speaker at our church and my daughter who was normally in the nursery caring for the little ones couldn't because for the first time I could remember the supervisor didn't show. I spent that service with every few moments my daughter whacking my arm as God tied up all the loose ends by answering the rest of my concerns and left it with such a peace & joy and an uncontrollable excitement that I realized was me falling in love with Jesus Christ and our relationship becoming very real & very personal. God had freed me from the things of my life that were standing between him & me. I found it really hard to keep in my excitement but my mom was about to get on a plane and you see we live together with my children and I couldn't break the news to her as she I dropped her off to start her 14 day trip as this would also change her life as she knows it. Yes you are probably saying "What about the kids?" I tried using my kids as an excuse as well but they wouldn't hear of it because when God was asking me to go was in a year & half and their plans would have them living away from home anyways. I pray that my Mom takes the news as well as the rest of the family, friends & work did. I do realize this may not happen but God has told me to leave My Mom in his hands and leave her the assets of our joint life. He is our great and powerful Father who has the compassion & the will to care for me with his love.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity
After my Mom left and the Love & Joy in my heart grew I couldn't contain myself and while I was waiting to tell my boss a coworker asked me whats up did I win the lottery. I told her no what was going on had far more value then the winning lottery ticket. My Boss took it very well and no one could wipe the smile of Joy off my face and there was a noticeable change in me as every one kept asking me whats up. I know if God didn't transform me into who I am now through the trials I would not have been able to give him my yes.
I have now brought you to where I am now. Tomorrow I will go to pick up my Mom and will be praying for God to help me tell her.
May you have a day with your burdens laid at the foot of the cross and be filled with the peace & joy God has for you!
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- A very long Day full of emotions
- I am glad for today & I am sad for today!
- Felt compelled to post, words of encouragement.
- Just can't get over the blessings!
- Beyond my comfort zone
- On the mend & am in awe
- Time to think and be with my Father.
- Father forgive me!
- A bit about my back ground
- August 23,2010
- Bring you up to date Part 2
- Bringing you up to date. Part 1
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