**********Please Scroll down to view Prayers, Sermon Links, Song Links, Poetry & Questions Meant to be Thought Provoking.**********

Friday, October 7, 2011

Start to a New Beginning Along Side the Trials.

Today with all that I face, God gave me a day of pampering. I was given a gift of a new look today to go with the new beginnings that are starting. I thought it was a blessing enough that I applied to University, taking a leap of faith. I am feeling guided to take the life experience God has given me through advocating for my own children to go back to school to become a child advocacy lawyer. I have absolutely no idea if this is even going to work as we face loosing our house but I am at total peace with the path I am on now and it is being filled with light as the doors are opening.

God didn't stop there as one of my family in Christ told me to call and set up an appointment and go to Ambience Salon and get done to my hair what ever I wanted done even coloured if I wanted. this would be the third time I have been offered to have my hair cut as a gift, I ended up not doing it the first two times but for some reason this time I needed to go as I felt total peace as I was being lead to it. 

I made and appointment for this morning. I thought my Mom would come with me because she liked going to Langley and it was out that way but she said no as I had told her I would be a couple of hours and she didn't want to wander that long. I headed out a lone to be at my appointment for 11:30 am. 

I was asked by Sue, the hairdresser, what I would like just a cut, colour or foils. I said I don't know as I really didn't no what she meant by foils. I really never paid to much care about my hair before as I never could really afford much past the basic hair cut. I told her, she was the artist and my hair was a blank canvas that she could do what she wanted with. 

I figure she has all the experience more than I do, I would let her decide and leave it in God's hands as obviously he had a plan. I though did have one request to have it donated, I needed it to be tied at   both ends of the pieces cut off and they needed to be 12 in. long. 

Well here we go, time to do it.

I can't believe it, 
a new beginning 
cutting off the old me,
 looking forward to getting to know
 the new me. 
Wow that is short and I love it!

I looked in the mirror.
 I didn't recognize the person I was looking at in the mirror, 
this person looked way younger and prettier. 
I had never thought of myself this way before. 
I have always just been mom.
I was feeling good about myself for the first time in a very long time.
I am going to have to get to know this new me.

I decided to go to Sears and be a bad girl and get one new outfit, something I don't normally do and go to the make up counter and get my face done up to complete the make over.

I walked into the store and headed to the ladies department, but wandered for a little before i asked a lady that worked there where their plus sizes were. She said to follow her. She asked me what I was looking for and I told her I really didn't know. I told her when I left the house this morning I had long hair, but I was starting a new beginning and showed her the picture of my long hair. She got really excited as I told her I was looking for an inexpensive outfit to go with the new me.
She stayed with me and helped me with some suggestions of pants and tops. I was able to share with her my testimony and I had mentioned my son who had Autism while we were talking. She told me that she had a son with Autism as well, he was 17, I told her so was mine. 
She told me jeans are what is needed for going back to school. I found one pair I liked that fit when I tried them on. She took me to the counter and they had a scratch sale on so she had me scratch to find out how much I would save. I scratched and revealed 50% off. We both got excited as that was one of the larger amounts off. She went to ring it in, when I reminded her I was looking for a complete outfit. She put the scratch aside and then I tried on more. I ended up buying two out fits for the price of one. I was feeling a little guilt for buying myself something for me but it felt right and needed.
I went over two the make up counter and explained what I was trying to do and she did my makeup for me, completing the makeover and another God given conversation as we talked intensely about how great our God is through the trials she has faced and I have faced.
She kept on bugging me to smile, I said to her it is strange because I feel like I am smiling but I am not. She told me to keep the smile inside and it will come out in my eyes, it is just because I have spent way to long sad, but now it was time for a new beginning and the smile will come too.

I honestly feel like I am smiling in this picture, one day it will reach the surface for all to see the smile that is hiding. 
I had such a happy day where I for the first time felt I was worth something.

Thank you God for this day of pampering and letting me know that it is ok to take care of myself as well without feeling guilty!!


Leslie Bowling said...

Oh my goodness Nicki .... you look amazing!! Don't feel guilty for spoiling yourself. You have done so much for your kids and family. It is about time you got spoiled. I can't wait for the day when you inner smile shines on the outside! God Bless You my friend!!

Nicki said...

Thank you, I still can't believe it is me, every time I look in the mirror...:o)

Nicki said...

God Bless you to my friend!!!

Mary-Lynne said...

I love the new look. The style looks great on you. Embrace it!

Nicki said...

Thank you & I will! I am so excited to see where God is taking the new me. :o)♥