Coming to the Realization and the Answer to Going or Not

I went last night to the volunteer position. We start the night with a meeting including a devotional & prayer. I came to the realization after a long time of experiencing things that since the trauma we experienced I am more sensitive to the presence of the Trinity & of the Demonic being present. We were praying last night and I was flooded with the presence of God in that prayer as my whole body could feel it, this wasn't the first time. I had been prayed for by the leader and other helper at my table last week and I was overtaken by the presence of God to the point I was fighting to stay standing as they prayed. I find now whether it be at Sunday service or any large group I can tell what presence is stronger, the Trinity or the Demonic and I can say I do not like the heaviness and darkness that comes over me when the demonic is present, but when the Trinity is present it is very light and loving and a place you never want to leave. I don't know why God has given me this sensitivity to the light and the darkness. My daughter & son as well can feel it now as well.

I had really know God was calling me to share this weekend away of his love and how through extreme trials he is walking with us and let us know we are not alone but unfortunately, I was told the cost could not be justified for them to pay as no one at our table was going. I saw God's plan unfold. He took me to volunteer, he told me the position he wanted me to take, helper, he fulfilled that after I left the position blank. He told me from the beginning he wanted me to testify at the weekend away to his love even through the difficult times when we don't understand what is happening. I sat at the meeting last night and they called for people to share their Holly Spirit and God moments this weekend, I was the first one with my hand up as I knew this is what he had called me to do. I spoke with the gentleman who had made the request later and gave him a part of our experience I had witnessed God through the trauma and he even made the joke maybee we could call me up a couple of times. I sat and went through till there was an opening to talk to the assistant and that is when I was told they could not justify paying for me to go on the weekend. 


I leave it in Gods hands now, I have done all that I can do. I would have paid for the weekend away if I had the money to do so, but i don't. Oh and for all those who watched the show I was in the only things you saw in the show that were mine was the paper work I was going through, my bed, my dresser, my clothes and the upright freezer down stairs. I do not own anything else, I some times wonder if that has been an assumption when people look at me that she has all that so she must just be hiding her money. I have to say "No my wealth does not come from money it comes from my faith in God and his son Jesus Christ."