Today at Church we were focusing on The Gospel of Mark the Final Chapter Part 2. After all the disciples had demanded that they would not abandon Jesus after he told them they would. Peter had insisted matter of factually he would die before he would deny Jesus and like Jesus predicted he denied him three times before the rooster crowed.
I here this and think of my post "Spending Time/ Being Blessed with Wisdom" I read this and compare it to what I heard today. I heard today that the disciples thought they would be strong enough to not deny Jesus on their own strength. One thing I have learned since God has taken me on this transforming Journey is that I can not do anything on my own strength, but only through his strength. Only through the strength of God have I been able to be free to be who he created me to be free of fear and shame. I know he is still teaching me and I know I have much more to learn. I find the neatest part of this journey is when God shows me what he has taught me and shows me how he is transforming my life.
I have gone from a little girl that use to sing to God about his creation of all the things around me on the farm, when no one was looking as I was so in love with him back then, to someone through trials learned to hate God and have contempt for him and those who had anything to do with him. God wasn't willing to give up on me and I was still searching for purpose. I was a mixed up lost sheep that my Shepard found and brought me back to where I belonged. I have to say though in the beginning I kept Jesus as a door hanger when I first came back, showing everyone how nice he looked, but I wasn't willing to let him in all the way. I wasn't willing to give him everything quite yet. I finally after many back and forth struggles finally was baptized and shortly after went through the trial of my life, that made the verses in 2 Corinthians 1:3-11 words that I could speak and mean from the core of my soul.
God has taken this Broken Girl with walls protecting her a mile high, surrounded in fear and shame of who she was and gave her a new life free of fear and shame and has aloud her to be free to be herself without being afraid. I have never felt this free and I have to say I never want to go back to the way it was. I want to run arms extended right into Jesus's arms to never leave again.
I do all things through Jesus Christ who died and rose again to set me( and you) free and took the sting out of death. Not by my strength but through the one who has set me free, Jesus Christ.
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