I first have to say thank you God for letting gas that normally would not stretch in the past stretch to make it to payday. “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
I went to the doctor on Monday. He is sending me for a bone scan. I showed him the lump in the center of my chest and we are going to keep an eye on it, not quite sure what it is.
We are so busy at work right now that the days have been just flying by at work. Except when, on Wednesday, I couldn't figure out how to put out a slide in a class A motor home. I had spent enough time looking, trying to figure it out, so I stepped down onto the top step of the entry and proceeded to lean forward to put my head out the door to ask for help. When I was stopped suddenly and found myself in the sitting position, tears instantly covering my face and nausea. My face was in pins and needles as I had just tried taking out the door frame with the top of my head, the only problem was it didn't want to move. Yes OUCH!! I got an instant goose egg on the top of my head, but with ice from the first-aider the pump was gone in under an hour, unfortunately the rest of the symptoms weren't. A little later I tried helping a co-worker put in a bed to a tent trailer and found the pressure on my head was building to the point I felt like I was going to hit the floor. I made it through the day.
I think knowing my friend was going to being picking me up for coffee that night helped get me through that day. We talked about being real and authentic. God doesn't ask us to carry a mask that hides who we really are. Usually behind every mask is fear and shame. Fear and shame that if anyone really got to know the real us they wouldn't want to know us. The mask is used to oppress us, to keep us paralyzed and inevitably the mask we wear will destroy us. Here are some songs that speak to the masks we where:
Perfect People by Natalie Grant
Safe by Natalie Grant
What If We Were Real by Mandisa
I also found a talk on this:
Free to be Real: Taking Off the Mask
My girlfriend dropped me off at home and blessed me with a $50.00 gift card for Save-On-Foods..
Friday I was still feeling the symptoms but didn't realize how much until I was on top of a 5th wheel trailer, one of the big ones. I had went up to put paint protection on the top of the nose where you can't reach by a ladder. I laid down and leaned over the nose, repeating this repeatedly as I worked myself from one side to the other, feeling the pressure on my head. I finally stood up to walk back to the ladder that was at the rear of the unit when my head started spinning from the pressure on it. I have to say not the best time to figure out that it might not have been such a good idea to go up there. I carefully made it safely back down to the ground and headed to the first-aider. I told him what had happened and that I would try to see if I could get into the doctor near the end of the day.
I called my mom at first coffee and asked her if she could try calling the doctor to make me an appointment for the end of the day. I wasn't under any circumstance risking loosing my job by taking time off to deal with this as the past came rushing back. She said she would call the doctor for me.
I called my mom back at lunch and she said the doctors office was only open until 11 am, but it was suggested that I didn't wait to Monday to see the doctor, but to head over to emergency at the hospital. I decided against my better judgement I would go to emerge after work on my way to get gas as it was payday.
I made it to the end of the day, getting covered in black paint 10 min. before the end of day. Note to self don't hug the sheet you used under stab jacks you painted, thinking was hard to do on Friday. Covered in paint I headed to emerge. While driving there I came to the realization I had no money to pump the meter and it doesn't take debit, time to right a note to put on the dash, after parking, " Emerge patient, have no money for the meter" and time to pray I don't get a ticket, I can't pay.
I headed into emerge and was greeted by a lady behind the first desk. She did not believe in eye contact or conversation, she had a stone cold personality. She sent me to the waiting room and told me it was going to be a while because they were busy. I thought to myself when is it not?
I was eventually taken into the little room where they take your blood pressure, temp and info. I have to say I dealt with three very pleasant ladies who set my anxiety about being there away and was able to rest from the stress being at the same hospital that cared for my daughter in 2009 and where my Nana and Sister passed away.
I waited for a little bit when a nurse came out to get me. She asked me, as she was walking me to the fast track, if I had any pain medication. I told her that I don't do pain medication. Her tone changed and in a unfriendly voice she asked me why I was there then and what did I think they could do for me! I told her I was here to see if I had a concussion not for pain management. I thought to myself, I hit my head its going to hurt that's normal. I'm here for what doesn't strike me as normal. What is emerge only about pain management?? I turned around and told her why I don't do medication and that I didn't like her attitude.
I was put in where there was four chairs, next to the entry. I was sat across from a mom who had brought her 8 yr. old daughter in to be seen. She also had her two year old son. Next to me was a girl who looked like she was in her 20's She had a lady keeping her company, the lady had a deep accent and one heck of a sense of humor, that helped a bit until she got us all laughing putting pressure on my head. The girl in her 20's phone kept ringing "Nana Nana Bobo I have a text and you can't see it!" to funny when you hear it.
Just before the doctor came and saw me nurse krank warned the doctor about me, like I couldn't hear her...not. Doctor came over and lead me to the cast room as it was the only one available. I told him before the assumption is made like the nurse did I am not hear for pain management. He was pleasant enough but it was like the clock was more important than the care, not giving me enough time to give him all the symptoms as he cut me off. He told me I was suffering from post concussion and the symptoms could last a week. He asked if I could do light duties at work for the next 72hrs. Good thing I don't work for the next two days. He said he would give me a sheet on head injuries that will tell me what to look out for. He went away to the desk and as he was giving the nurse the paper for me I noticed a male nurse that just had come on duty. I recognized him he was one of not many nurses that was very kind to me when my daughter was going through the undiagnosed reaction to the prescription in 2009. I just had to thank him for his help and care and let him know that yes it was the prescription that had caused our nightmare. i was blessed to be able to speak with him and thank him in person.
I left the hospital and headed to Costco to get gas before the light came on saying I was empty, needed to pick up my mom and son's prescription anyways. I have learned to go into the store first as the gas pumps muck up my bank card and my ability to purchase things.
I came to a very sad reality as I got paid Friday. I managed to pay the mortgage, get 39 L of gas, a bag of broccoli, 2 jugs of cheap cranberry juice, cheese whiz on coupon, a box of garbage bags and be left with 90 cents of my paycheck. The sad reality is the mortgage payment comes off every paycheck as we have it setup by weekly.
Today, Saturday, I am still fighting the side effects of the concussion, but learning to adapt. I wrote the chief of medicine for emerge and the manager at the hospital about my experience on Friday. My Mom and I waited till we had lunch to go out and take back bottles to the recycling depot. We the head over to Save-on-Foods and use the gift card my girlfriend had given me and we were blessed by finding a pack 1/2 inch pork tenderloin chops for $14. and some change, there was 16 pork chops in the packet four meals for us. We were able to get everything we purchased on sale allowing us to get a little more for the value of the gift card. We finished up and headed home.
When we were making the list of what we needed we had asked the kids what they would like for lunch food that was cheap? My daughter piped up "Mom your homemade pizza pops!" Well the rest of my day has been used to make Homemade Pizza Pops, Ham/Pineapple, Potato/Hamburger/Onions/Carrots/Peas, and what we call piggy's in a blanket( herb & cheese bread dough wrapped around a wiener).
I am just waiting on the bread dough to rise for the last batch to be stuffed risen again and baked and then off to bed so I can get up for Church in the morning, as my dear friend and her husband pick us up for church...oops that reminds me we didn't make church last week and need to go online to watch it, I would love to hear your thoughts on the sermon, come watch it with me: To Tell The Truth: Jesus On Trial. Good bye for now!
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