I am so excited as the plane tickets are booked and over half of the money is raised for the missions trip itself. We will be leaving on Feb 24. and laying over in Dallas, which will be an extra $50. . I have though been informed that I only have 2 vacation days to cover my wages from work and the days I will miss, so please pray for God's provision in this as I walk in faith that he will provide all the details. We will be arriving back home March 8, please pray for the school, that we will be serving at in Tizate, their children on the sponsorship program, the locals, for the building of the home and for God to prepare our hearts, provision as a missions team. Oh and for learning Spanish easily so we can communicate with the locals more fluently.
Thank you for your prayers and if you are interested in donating to this missions trip please follow go to the tab at the top of the page that said "Contact and Donation information" or push the link.
All support is greatly appreciated!
I found Myself on Dec 16 posting a request on the Churches FB Prayer Group:
Need your prayers as I fight the battle of the mind one more time...I am fighting missing doing things that are very important and in result hurting those I hold dear as I fight memory issues. I was so thankful to a wonderful couple for donation for my missions trip to Guatemala and had every intention of thanking them and before I knew it a week had passed and I received an email asking if I had received the donation. My mind is betraying me right now and in result I am letting people down and hurting them. I am tired of doing this as it is totally against who I am. I am now fighting the beginning of depression as I fight the put downs in my brain and the realization that this will be the first Christmas without my children, even though I know that this is a wonderful opportunity to form a relationship with their dad and his family. Father please take charge of my thoughts and if this is a valley I need to walk through please give me the strength and peace to do so, please fill me with your Holy Spirit daily and when my mind forgets to run to you grab hold of me and don't let me go. In Jesus Precious name Amen.
After I posted that post I could take being at home anymore, I just needed to go for a walk to clear my head, the next morning, Dec 17, I posted again as a comment under my post on the prayer group:
I went for a walk last night as I fight the depression trying to grab hold of me, as I face my first Christmas without my Children. I walked and I kept walking and the crushing reality as I heard a voice saying your Children won't be spending this Christmas with you but at least you have the possibility of Christmases to come, unlike the many families that were unable to pick their children up from school that horrific day. I started walking home still looking at the ground unable to face anything as I felt so selfish for how I was feeling. I had been only seeing my shadow in the night but all of a sudden there was two shadows on the side walk. Startled and I looked around, thinking someone was behind me, the streets were empty and a peace beyond understanding flooded me as I realized it was God letting me know that I was not walking this valley alone. I got home to an email from a friend who I had been placed on her heart to pray for me and she nailed every unspoken need in that email. God is good and he knows our every need even when we can't put them into words.
God wasn't quite done yet as I found myself needing to post one more time under my post,Dec 18,:
Today God took charge of my thoughts, as he filled my mind full of scriptures, replacing the lies of the enemy with his truth, returning me back to a place of rest and peace. He brought me to the scripture in Genesis about Joseph and his brothers/family. Christmas time can bring family gatherings that are not always ideal but even through the story of Joseph forgiveness was the end of the story. We are called to forgive those who have hurt us and extend them the grace we were given. We need to share with them the riches of our faith, not the bitterness of our sin.We need to love the unlovable in our lives as we are called to love.
I have to say I am a little slow to the up take and this was one of those times, I did not connect the dots. God had a plan and this scripture he had placed in my thoughts as he took charge of them would also get me through Christmas, as I faced my first Christmas without my children but with my family. I had had been dysfunctional in the past and I had felt wronged by and hurt. I would be having dinner with them and without my children there I had no idea how I would survive it.
I asked a dear Lady that I have slowly been getting to know and felt God pushing me to ask her for her prayers, at Church after the sermon, another first for me. She prayed with me and prayed that Jesus would be present and at the head of the table and come Christmas day he was. I have never spent the most relaxed Christmas with know one knocking me or bringing me down. I have to say though I still missed my babies. I was so thankful when at least one of my babies came home, but I do so understand that God has a different plan for my oldest babies and it will be ok.
I didn't share this in Dec as the Holidays took over, at least I don't think I did.I had been told in Dec of 2010 that they had found a hole in my heart, a hole that eventually, be it a year or ten I would need heart surgery. I had never gone to the Elders for prayer before, as this wasn't quite where I though I was in my faith yet, but God convicted me to go and re-enforced it with a note calling for anyone needing prayer, the Elders were available. I was anointed with oil on my forehead and the elders started praying over me & my family, for peace for my family & for healing for me. I was shaking with nerves the hole time. I felt such a peace & filling of the Holly Spirit at the time and I knew that God would heal me.
While filling out an life insurance for our mortgage, I asked my doctor about the hole in my heart. I am Pleased to say and Praising God all the way!! they could not find the hole on the last scan, they couldn't find it at all!! Praise God for his healing!!