I seem to be needing to explain where I am coming from more and more, as I go through the stages of grieving and learn how to express myself and who I am. I in agreement today am told I am at the next stage of grieving, anger, not an emotion I am comfortable with.
I found myself trying to explain why I am uncomfortable with hearing the word care and contributing funds in the same statement. Here was my response:
I have a difficulty hearing the word care and contributing funds in the same statement. I do not equate them as the same, let me explain. I grew up in am atmosphere where contributing gifts and money took the place of signs of ones affections and was considered a sign of love, I haven’t always lived in poverty, this I have fought my whole life. Money and gifts can not comfort the pain one feels in times of trials & suffering, it can’t be there to give words of encouragement, it can’t lift you up when you fall down, it can’t be an ear, and it can’t be a shoulder to cry on, this is what love and care does.
I have to be honest and say I hate money, if I didn’t need it to support my family I would have nothing to do with it. I appreciate the thought and care behind the gift more than the gift itself.
Without the things money and gifts aren't we would not need them.
I hope this explains better what I was trying to explain in a previous post.
Father thank you for being the same yesterday as your are today and will be tomorrow. Thank you for your love and care. Please give me your strength and patience to endure what you have set before me and may it all be to your glory and will. In Jesus Christ Name Amen.
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