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Sunday, October 20, 2013

Sunday, Oct 20, 2013.

Dear Father,

Thank you Father for everything! Thank you for the breath I take that tells me I am alive by your Grace. Thank you for the good things that bring me such joy and the trials that remind me how much I need you!!

Father Thank you for the wonderful visit with my baby girl over the Thanksgiving weekend, as it had been over a year and a half since I had seen her, she is so grown now!
My Family

I was sad to see her leave, as I know it is going to be a long time before I get to see her again, but I know she is safely in your arms.

Thank you Father for the opportunity my son will have going to culinary school as he has been approved for his student loan and just waits for the payment to go through, so he can start. Father I pray for your provision of a ride for him, as I no longer can drive and there is no buses he can take that early.

Thank you Father for the vision you gave me on Tuesday morning, as I was getting up from my morning prayers. I am not sure I understand what the mean quite yet, but I am sure there is a purpose. 

I saw in the vision a large white open work gate that opened in the middle. I saw two people opening it but my eyes focused in on the man on the right, he was facing me as he pushed his side of the gate back. He was average height  and build. He had short curly dirty blond hair. He had the very peaceful, loving and comforting presence about him, then very crystal clear vision was gone and then was replaced by a white background that had a circle forming from the top and down both sides, in black and as they met at the bottom they went into the center of the circle and formed an odd shape and then the visions were over.

Thank you Father for the opportunity at the pastorate to share how my relationship with you started. I felt bad though after I shared, as it felt like I had put a few on the defensive, as I know my Testimony is very dramatic, but it is what it is, how could I look at what you have done and minimize it? I know my testimony is not the norm and I remember when I first asked you into my life and heard all these dramtic testimonies, I questioned whether I truly was saved or not?  I know though that every testimony is of great importance bigger or small because they are your Testimonies and you have a purpose for everyone of them. I think though sometimes the bigger the testimony, because we were harder nuts to crack. I know I had to ask for the cast iron frying pan version, because even though I asked you in I still didn't get it.

Thank you Father for giving me instruction, when I didn't know which way to go. My initial reaction when attacked verbally by the WCB Worker was to fight like I had to many times before and stand my ground and not let them away with anything. While I was on the bus Wednesday when I was thinking of all the things I needed to do to fight for what I thought was right, You brought me to scripture, as you laid it on my heart and mind, Mathew 26: 50-52 I heard the Holy Spirit speak this truth to me into my circumstances. I knew what I needed to do! I knew what the world would expect me to do and it was not what you were calling me to. You told me to put my sword back in its place. I was not to fight I was to be still and know you are God and let what was to happen, happen. You were and are in control.

Thank you for showing me Father how far you have brought me, as you have truly removed fear from it's control in my life. I was outside on the road side waiting  for my ride to Theology Class, it was still pitch black out, as it was 5:30 am. I was approached by a Young man wearing dark clothes. He told me that he was going to join me and then told me he was a police officer, so I stayed standing facing the street. He then asked me to face him, so ok I did. He started talking into the mic/radio under his shirt to the other officers discussing what was happening. I knew Father you had changed me so much, as I never experienced an once of fear, where I would have in the past been running all the bad outcomes in my head, but no this time I was filled with great peace.

Thank you Father for the Urologist I was sent to as he chiseled away some of the hard shell that had formed to protect me from  the experiences of trust issues with the medical community. I had been sent to him do to some bleeding that lasted a week, much like a women's monthly but I am fixed. He informed me that he would be sending me for some tests to screen me for Bladder and Kidney Cancer, as I have had cancer down in that area before and had it removed without going through Chemo. 

Father how come the more I want to distance myself from the medical community, the more I am thrown in their care???

 Saturday morning came around and as I was waking up I had a vision of the earlier circle drawing in my head being overlaid on top of the sample of what your inside looks like and it was an exact match. I still was not sure what this meant, except it was like when You had directed my son in 2009 to pick up the bible in the beginning and read Psalm 23, it was like you are preparing the path for what is to come.

Father I have to take this time to lift up the many of this world who are facing some very large mountains in their lives that they are having to climb, like cancer, Father insure them that they do not walk it alone. Comfort their families and them Father and if it is your will Father create a miraculous healing in their lives.

Father I ask you to fill me with your continued strength and wisdom as you cont. to consume me, break me and transform me, so all that is left is you. I give you my life as a living sacrifice to do with what ever pleases and glorifies you!! 

In Jesus Name Amen.

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