Where do I start, I was so upset in my last post but did what God asked me to do (Matthew 18:21-35), make a way to forgive the debt of sin against me, as he made a way to forgive mine through his son Jesus Christ.
My Mom and I went to the bank on Friday with the letter as is from my work, even though I was told by many to question them on it and see if there was anyway they could rewrite it. I was discerning that God wanted me to trust him and leave it as is and he would take care of it.
We met with a new lady at the bank as the manager that we knew there had been transferred and the lady we normally speak to under her was on maternity. We walked into the office and there was a great sense of peace as we spoke with her. The letter was a non issue and she said we could qualify for anything up to what we had now and that a penalty would be less than first thought.
I said to her that this was good but I wanted to know what the amount would be that would bring down the monthly fees to a breathable level. We were turning to say good-bye and leave when a light struck my eye and it was reflecting off the silver coloured cross that was hanging around her neck. I truly think that was God letting us know he was there in that meeting with the bank.
Makes you think what was that emotional frenzy except a lapse in faith and energy burnt in stress and fear that is not needed when our God is in charge.
Before we went to the bank on Friday my mom had contacted the Real Estate office, on Tuesday, that my mom had dealt with for years, but the Realtor that sold us this house had since past away from cancer and when Mom had found out by inquiring how she was the Manager had given her the news and told her to contact him if we found ourselves needing a Realtor and he would make sure we were taken care of. The manager kept his promise and had a very strait forward Realtor who comes across as real not fake and she sais it how it is.
The Realtor came by Wednesday morning, 4th of July, to come do an appraisal of what she thought we could sell for and what she thought we would need to do to the house to get it ready. She was talking with my mom while I was at work and mom found out there is a strong possibility we are related to this Realtor, we have never met before.
We found out that the value in our house will allow us to down size to something that will be much smaller but way less than what we are having to come up with now and with numbers crunched our expenses will almost cut in half. I showed mom the numbers and she agreed, Thank you God!! You see I only have token 10% interest in the ownership of our home that I was given when we first moved in together, to protect me if anything happened to my mom, so no one could kick us out of our home. Because of this, I really don't have a say on whether we sell or not because my mom always has the controlling say and up till now she was saying no way as we would be worse off. But the reality is, that wasn't true once you actually crunched the numbers.
I have to say I am quite ignorant when it comes to home buying and selling, as well as the financing end of things. I use to always be afraid to step into the world I had no idea about, but I can say God has freed me from that fear.
Saturday we went out and looked at 5 places, originally it was more but Mom vetoed out 8 of them as they were not in areas of town she would not buy in or they as she put it looked like dumps/ghettos, by their listing. We knew it would be difficult for the Realtor to find a suitable place as we would need a townhouse or condo that was level entry, had to have at least the master bedroom and laundry facility on the level entry living area of the place so that mom wouldn't have to be faced with any stairs. We needed to have a place that would except the two dogs, as my mom made a promise to my sister, at my sisters request, less than an hour before she passed away that we would take care of her dogs and would never give them away. Mom also needed to be with in walking distance to town and the park so she wouldn't be home bound. We also needed it to be at least capable of having three bedrooms. We knew we were asking for a miracle, I think this is most likely why we started all this with reaching out for prayer as soon as we knew moving was a thought.
We went to the first place and it was only 5 yrs. old, was walking distance to town and the park and had three decent sized bedrooms and the bonus was the master bedroom was on the opposite side of the apartment from the other two bedrooms. The condo was an open concept one with granite kitchen counters, something I never expected to see on our limited budget.
We continued down the list of places she had to show us.
We went to one place that she told us, before we went in, was a foreclosure. My heart started breaking as I know how easy life can change and put you in that place, we were so close many times over this last three years of not being able to afford our payments through circumstances beyond our control. I could only imagine what this person was facing. My son came with us on Saturday and was very chatty as he had never been old enough to go house shopping before and one of the things he does in new situations is ask allot of questions with out holding back. I needed to tell him to lock up the lips while we were in the condo, as it could hurt the persons feelings as they were not selling by choice, much like us but worse off.
We went up to the suite and the Realtor knocked on the door, I was expecting someone young. The door opened to reveal a very petite frail old man. My heart started breaking even more, all I could do the whole time I was in his place was pray for him as I walked from room to room. We left his home, but he did not leave my heart.
We continued on and the last place we looked at was a beautiful townhouse, the family living in it were very apparently christian as their was no hiding it in there beautifully designed home with beautiful wall phrases. We could all feel the peace in this home and you just knew this was a family that prayed together. I have to say the floor plan was just perfect. The master bedroom was on the main level entry. There was a bedroom and a games room down stairs that would have, the way it was designed, been a perfect for bachelors suite for my son, it even had its own entry door, but it wouldn't be.With further talks with the Realtor the complex was in the middle of deciding how they would be replacing all the roofs in the complex and they had no contingency fund. We took a look on the patio and the unit backed onto the playground and with further look the fences and landscape was very neglected. We knew this meant the complex would have to come to the owners with a special something requesting money to pay for these repairs and we knew no matter how much we liked it we could not handle having top put out the extra they would be coming for. Before we left though my son took me aside and told me that he wouldn't be able to wake up to the carpet in the room that would have been his as it was setting of one of his sensory issues and the feeling of it on his feet was stressing him out, but when he came upstairs the colours of the walls was very calming to him. I have to say I was blown away as this was the very first time my son articulated anything like this.
18 yrs. old and my son is still teaching me new things about his Autism. I walk bare foot all the time and I don't think about what I stand on unless it is pointy gravel or hot black top and I never thought about how the carpet and colours would effect him so much. The things I take for granted can impact him greatly.
I have to say I was sad as this would have been the best place to further my son's independence and there was no way we could do it.
The Realtor dropped us off at home and over the next 24 hrs I would come to the realization of two things, My mom and son liked the first place we saw and my mom said she didn't know why but it felt like home.
I had my reservations. I think though I started realizing my reservations had nothing to do with the place but more about what we were leaving. We would be leaving my daughters room and I would have to face the reality she had moved out and we wouldn't have a room for her to move back in. We would also be leaving the community that we loved and most of all the neighbors that God had blessed us with.
I started getting mad that we were not moving because we wanted to but because we had too, then my mind started returning back to why we were in this mess and it was all because of a trauma we went through that if we were listened too would not have happened.
God though started showing me.
You said you would need a place close to town for your mom, I have given you this place,
you asked for a place that would allow the dogs, I have given you this,
you asked for three bedrooms and I gave it to you,
you asked for a place that your mom would be happy with, I gave you that,
you were concerned about taking the dogs up and down an elevator, I gave you a place you would not need to do that,
you were worried about taking the dogs through the halls as one of them barks at every sound, I gave you that as this place is right next to the entry,
you were concerned about neighbors all around you, you only have one above you and no one on any other side, I gave you that,
your mom can access the mail and walk the dogs in very little steps, I gave you that,
you needed something that would reduce your payments, this place will almost cut them in half, I gave you that.
You asked me for a miracle I gave you that!
On Tuesday we will be seeing this place again and by the looks of it putting in an offer and we will be putting our house up for sale.
I ask for your continued prayers as God brings this part of his plan together and that in all this his will be done. Thank you!
Thank you God for giving me wisdom into your care and love for me and my family and how you answer our prayers. You are sovereign over all, help remind me in every step you have me walk. I lift up my praise and worship to you my Lord, My God, My Father, My Savior. In Jesus Christ Name Amen.
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