I have been trying so hard to just let go and have faith that God is Sovereign in everything.
I have to say I have had my weak moments, but in them God brings me back to:
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.
For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.
*2 Corinthians 1:3-11
God is truly the comforter, He is walking me through this journey one step at a time.
I have witness His hand move in my life in more ways than I can count. I am no ware near the person I was when I first excepted Jesus as my Savior. My Life was full of many broken pieces, full of hurt, anger, hate, resentment, anxiety and fear. God has been putting all the broken pieces back together, as He brings a new into my life, freeing me from the bondage my past had kept me prisoner in.
I would have never imagined that I would be able to go out free of fear by myself on adventures without the safety net of family, next to me and approving the safety of doing it. I missed out on stretching past my comfort zone and growing because I was under the bondage of fear and anxiety, but now! I have learned to live in the moment and let go of control and trust God in everything. I never thought I would be able to stretch out of my comfort zone and go to Guatemala on a missions trip, but God knew I could and used it as a catalysis to show me that I can walk in His freedom and trust that He takes care of me and loves me and that I can go past me comfort zone with the assurance I am not going there alone.
I have since then gone on Transit adventure into the big city of Vancouver on my own, free of fear and anxiety. I know that in all these milestones of change in me, are only because God is creating a new in me and preparing me for the plans He has for my life.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
I have to say after witnessing all the things that are happening right now I would love to be a fly on the wall of my future.
Over the last little while I have stretched out of my comfort zone and started inviting professionals over Linkedin that I thought would be a good fit for the iblong Community Centre. I have to confess that I never imagined they would actually accept. Well God had a different thought, as I received one except after the other. I went from a few connections to now at this moment 160. as I said I could never imagined. I also out of that connected to a beautiful lady from the United Nations who had cardinally invited me to a panel discussion "Autism Awareness to Action" at the United Nations, unfortunately circumstances prevented me from attending and after letting her know she shared with me a live link to the 2 day event.
Last week, I was told by Worksafe BC that they had decided to pay for me to take the Business Administrative Diploma Course at Sprott Shaw. Praise God!!
I would need to do an entrance exam, last Monday, but felt ready after looking up the areas I was challenged with on an entrance exam for another school, boy was I wrong. I would find this entrance exam was more intense and was timed. The exam came in two parts, one English and the second Math. I thought the Math would be easy as it is my strong suite and with my Dyslexia I have always struggled with English. I found it was the opposite, as unlike the other exam I took this one was filled with more complex fraction equations and algebra! Algebra! I haven't done algebra since 1987, the pressure was on! Could I remember, I use to get A and B in algebra in high school, could I remember?
I drew a blank. I started looking at the questions and I started noticing a pattern and started using the information I was seeing from each of the questions to form a pattern and when I tested it, it appeared to work and then it became easy to answer the questions. I then found it a struggle to use my right arm to right down the steps for breaking down the complex fraction questions and the clock to the right of the screen counting down, causing my brain to go into panic and scrambled mode not allowing me to complete anymore before the time ran out. I had completed the English on time but not the Math, that shocked me.
I stepped into the office of the admissions, she went to get the results. I had passed! Praise God!! I would register before I left and I was told I started Monday morning.
Yesterday, I had my wax fitting for my new smile and was told that I would have one more fitting, after that then one more appointment and I would have my new smile filled with teeth.
I am witnessing God put every piece into place, as I do absolutely nothing. I have had to let go of control and everything I was use to doing, like fighting for what I wanted to happen, all the tools of advocating and let God be my advocate. I write this as I have thoughts saying " Don't you remember saying and praying that for once couldn't someone fight for me and be the advocate, because I just don't have it in me
right now with all that is happening!" Praise God for answered Prayer and being my Advocate!!
I have no idea where God is taking me but I know it will be beyond what ever I can imagine!!
I have to say though the trials are still here, as we face challenges, but we do not walk through them alone!
Challenge right now is the escalation of my son's Autism and not knowing what he is thinking and feeling, as the meltdowns come more frequently and greater in intensity. I don't think it helps that my mom is in a place of taking them personally and internalizing them, something I had to learn not to do along time ago.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
I have to say it is difficult balancing my Son's needs with my Mom's needs, but I have asked and will ask you for a covering of prayer over this and a reconciliation of my Son and Mom's relationship.
I also have been facing a brain with the attention span of a pea, as I try to balance home with the beginning of school, which is doubled up courses to meet the time requirement of Worksafe BC.
I had applied to a job working for a missions organization, but it was already taken.
Father I lift all of those who are reading this blog post. You know them by name, You know what they are facing. Father meet them where they are at. Father please comfort them in their circumstance, fill them with your peace beyond understanding.
I pray this in Jesus precious name Amen.