Hello it has been a while. God had laid on my heart not to write for a bit but study and read his word.
I was blessed by a lovely lady who sponsored me to go to the Secret Church: The Cross and Suffering, on Good Friday I was so blessed by going. We started at 6:30 pm and we finished at 1 am, the time flew by. The Speaker was very fast paced, engaging and humorous, but still serious.
God reiterated all that he has already been teaching me and calling me to do, through that 6 1/2 hours of studying God's word through the whole bible on suffering.
I am finding as time goes by the call to follow grows stronger, the ache in my heart grows deeper with every resistance to taking up my cross and following God where he wants me to go. I know where I am suppose to go, to the Horne of Africa. God has been preparing me since the day he put Kenya on my heart and mind. Many ask how do you know this is what God is calling you too? I know because before he placed Kenya on my heart and mind I had no idea what Kenya was, since then I can't count the number of times I have heard Kenya and the ache in my heart to go that keeps on growing. I know one day through prayer and petition and confidence God will complete the good work he has started in me I will be free of all that holds me back from what my heart desires.
My Hearts desire that keeps growing in my heart is to take up my cross and follow Jesus. I want to be able to do like Mathew when Jesus called him to follow. I am finding my spirit is willing but my flesh is week. I want so much just to go but I can't seem to get past my not wanting to hurt my mom, my children understand but my mom will not. I know what Jesus has spoken on this but I still struggle. I have a war raging inside of me between who I was and who God has created me to be. I know though in Gods perfect timing his will for my life will be no matter how much my sinful nature gets in the way because God is sovereign over all things and my Savior.
I have witnessed many miracles my Savior has preformed in my life and this last little while has not been any different. We had received a call from the church asking if we had any financial needs they could help us with. I asked them to prayerfully consider where God wanted them to help us. I shared with them what our prayers were right then "some house repairs, vehicle repairs( I was having problems with the steering), and for me not to even miss an hour of work as it means eating becomes an option as we are already at the bare minimum, oh and because my mom will be upset if I don't mention it we were also praying if it is God's will that I would be blessed with teeth."
The church decided after speaking with my mom that helping us with our vehicle would most likely be the best as without it I can not get to work and we would be worse off. They asked us to make an appointment to find out what repairs the vehicle would need. I took our vehicle in and they drove me to work so I wouldn't be late. I noticed at lunch that my mom had called, I keep my phone on silent at work. I called her back and she asked if I was sitting down? I said yes. She proceeded to tell me that there was a problem with the steering rod and the transmission and we were lucky we had taken it in when we had. I knew luck had nothing to do with it. She told me that the cost was $2,800. and the church was able to cover $2,000. of it but we would need to come up with $800. and I knew that was impossible as our bare minimum budget was already running $14. something in the negative and we have no savings.
I started praying for a miracle and posted that prayer up on Facebook. I knew it was impossible for us but nothing was impossible for God and if it was in his will if he could please give us this miracle. I called mom back at last coffee and we still couldn't come up with any ideas of how to come up with the rest and mom had told the repair shop that we would have to not do some of the work. While I was talking to her over the phone she was checking the bank to see if a bill had come out of her account, when she said your not going to believe this, as our accounts were joint and she could also see mine as well as hers. I said what? She said your income tax return was deposited today. I was thinking that is awesome, it is normally around $1,500. no more, so I thought great it is covered. She then told me it was $2,800. Thank you Jesus for that quick answer to prayer in the form of a miracle, not only was the $800. covered but the whole amount my mom said it was.
You might think this is where the blessing ended, but not. I told the church about the miracle via email and said I guess this wasn't where God wanted them to help as he covered it. I found out after that email that the amount didn't include the tax, so mom called the church to let them know that we would still be short the tax and if they could please help us with that amount instead. I called mom on one of my breaks and she let me know that the church told her that they would pay what they originally agreed to the $2,000. and for us to put the rest of the money towards our property taxes.
God has blessed us so much as he blesses us monthly with his provision to make our monthly bills. He has now provided us with a reliable vehicle to get to work and medical appointments and the money towards our property taxes so we will not loose our home. As I right these blessings I realize he has answered many prayers this last few weeks, not just the above. I have been needing to go for several medical appointments this last little bit as well as upcoming and in all those appointments my wages are covered by either holiday pay, last of day appointments that not taking my last break covers or being aloud to work Saturday in place of, answering the prayer of not even missing an hour of work. I am brought back to Mathew 6:25-34
God has so shown me that it is not what this world has taught me that I need, it is what he is teaching me that contradicts what the world has told me.
I now come to you for prayer, as through prayer God will deliver us. A week ago this last Saturday we were told that my Aunt has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer, she is a child of God. Please pray for her and her family. We were also told that day that my daughters best friends mom was also diagnosed with Breast Cancer, not a child of God. Please pray for her and her family. I also come to you for my mom who feels she has lost all sense of purpose and value. She has told me that she doesn't need or want any ones help as she has made it this far on her own.
Also, my daughter text me in a panic " I know this is going to sound weird but u need the elders to look at the house. I can't explain why but I was looking at the photo u sent me and a creepy feeling came over me. I love u and I need u to do this for me <3" I told her I would try but her Nana might not allow it. She messaged me back"I can't explain the feeling that came over me it was almost like something is wrong with that house and that it needs to be dealt with ASAP or something bad is going to happen. I love you all so much and I am going to pray for u guys" I tell you this as I have wanted to have the Elders come and pray over our house before as this is where the heart of the demonic attack happened and I like my daughter feel there is something with this house. My daughter in the past before she moved to Alberta told me that all this talk about Elders praying over the house just made her uncomfortable, but now that she is out of the house she is now seeing what I have been for a while, so please pray for our house and my family and as you pray for us pray protection over those close to you, future marriages and ministries and yourself, this is important.
God thank you for all that you have done in my life, help me to be strong enough through your strength to do what you have willed for my life, allowing me to go where you would have me go and stay where you would have me stay. Father protect those who read this from attack from the enemy as well as their friends and families, marriage of present or future and all ministries present or future. In Jesus Name Amen.
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