Testimony of 2009

Testimony of 2009

    I would like to take you back to one sunny afternoon on April 13 of 2009. My mom, two children and I were returning from a lunch date with my dad in New Westminster. We had just gotten on the Freeway when my daughter had started experiencing hallucinations of spiders.

    She had been in emergency at the local hospital the night before where they had given her medication and she had experienced this hallucination of spiders for a few moments that night, this was after a 12 day stay in hospital do to breathing problems, they had put her on some medication as they thought the continued issue was her fear of stopping breathing causing panic attacks.

    I was driving us home on the Freeway doing the speed limit of 100 km/h. We had hit around the Surrey/Langley border when things started to escalate as she became non-coherent to us being with her and she started saying something about “DON’T HURT THEM, LEAVE THEM ALONE!!” She started ripping her necklace earrings and purity bracelets off as she was fighting what ever she was witnessing in her mind.

My son grabbed the bible from the back seat and started reciting scriptures, my mom who was sitting next to me and had not been attending church except for special occasions since my dad lived with us when I was seven started recalling scriptures. We started reciting Psalm 23:

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters.

He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness

for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies;

you anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

all the days of my life,

and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD

forever.

    We were just about at Abbotsford when she took her seat-belt off and started to try exiting our mini van while I was still driving at 100 km/h. I managed to get onto the edge of the Freeway. I slowed our mini van down hoping to be able to get off the Freeway; my mom had already called 911. We got to the Clearbrook Rd exit when we were faced with a dilemma, we would have to go back onto the Freeway lane to get around the support for the over pass and my daughter was still trying to exit the mini van. We heard the sirens; help was on its way. The Firemen had come to our assistance. All I can remember is they got my mom and my son out of our vehicle. Where my son was sitting now sat a fireman named Terri trying to calm my daughter down. I was asked to move over to where my mom was in the passenger’s seat and another fireman climbed into the driver’s seat and asked if it was okay if he drove our vehicle, I said “Yes”. He gunned it around the support post to the over pass onto the grass center of the off ramp. All I could see was the fire trucks and ambulances, with the attendants waiting to take my daughter to the hospital.

    I know now that when the Bible came out and God’s word was being recited, God was telling us we were not alone.

    Over the next 8 months our lives were drastically altered as my daughter would go through episodes of going back into these hallucination states where she would live through in her mind us being murdered one by one, repeatedly and she would be raped in her mind not coherent to us being there. We would be witness to the real live emotions that she would show in her face & actions as she experienced fighting for our lives and the grief that would come over her as she thought each of us were killed. We would find ourselves calling over 60 times to 911 in that time. 911 wouldn’t even ask for our information anymore they would answer with “they are on their way Mrs. Bennett” as my mom called. I would find myself having to physically restrain her, for her own safety, until help came. I in her mind from restraining her would become the attacker in her mind. I would get the full wait of her trying to get away as I would be bitten and beaten black and blue from head to toe. I must tell you though I know God was standing between me and her. I felt nothing as her teeth bear down and she was hitting me trying to escape the people that were murdering her family.

    I was asked once by a Police officer if I wanted to charge my daughter and I responded by saying “I would be the first one to charge her if she was attacking me, but how could I charge her for doing everything she should be doing, as in her mind she was protecting her family.

    I have seen my daughter handcuffed on way too many counts, to restrain her for her safety. I witnessed my daughter as the Police officer was removing the handcuffs begging him on her hands and knees to lock her up because she was becoming a monster and she did not want to hurt anyone. I still remember one time my daughter was just released from the Emergency at the hospital and we didn’t even make it home when she started in one again and we were surrounded by Police Cars in the Save-On-Foods parking lot and they removed her from our vehicle, handcuffed her and took her back to the hospital one more time. She had such adrenaline running through her body at one point she had me, at 240 lbs, two feet off the ground.

    God gave me a verse over that period that helped me get through what we were going through and what we would be yet to face. He was letting me know we weren’t walking this alone. 1 Peter 1:6-7:

    In this you greatly rejoice, though for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith- of greater value than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

    My daughter would be admitted to the APU (Adolescent Psychiatric Unit) as I didn’t know what was going on. I only had my suspicions and this voice that kept on having me request she be weaned off all the medications from the beginning, with no success. I felt admitting her was the best way to keep her safe.

    I was so terribly wrong; I wouldn’t realize till after her second admission. I would be faced with asking the Psychiatrist in charge if I could share what I was seeing and before I could get two words out would be faced with his hysterical laughter. I waited for him to calm down and requested if I could finish and was met with a yes and before I could get the next two words out he was in hysterical laughter one more time. I had earlier noticed the lack of respect from this Doctor towards the patients and their families and had voiced this to the social worker and the nurses, so when I received this reaction I just looked at the social worker.

    We would soon face the reality that the health care system had no idea what was happening to my daughter, as they insisted it was all in her head and that she was a temper tan trimming teenager. I was taken aside by one of the Doctor on September 14 of 2009 to a room away from my daughter where he proceeded to tell me there was nothing they could do for her and for me not to bring her back and when I told the doctor it was 911 protocols, he told me not to call 911. I was devastated, feeling abandoned and alone by the people I relied on and trusted for help.

    My family would also were faced with the reality of spiritual warfare over that time as every time God’s truth would try to enter my daughters mind or prayer she would either become out cold or scream in massive pain. We got to the point when we sat down for meals we would put pillows around my daughter’s chair because as grace started she would become out cold and on the floor. I would drive towards the church and she would scream in pain and beg me to turn around and the closer we got the worse it would get until we would be on church property she would become out cold.

I would take my daughter to a Pastorate I went to up on the Mountain. I started to see the pastorate was starting to speak truth into my daughter’s questions and doubts and I could see the change starting in her. She told me we needed to go as she could feel it coming on. I asked her when we got to our vehicle if she could hold it off till we got off the mountain as it was a foggy dark night and it was a windy road with steep drop off’s. She assured me she could, half way down it became apparent she wouldn’t but this time it was different she would stay coherent but I would soon find out why it was different as it wasn’t what she normally went through. I wasn’t just driving my daughter and me off that mountain; I was also driving with Satin. I was so terrified as I had never in my life experienced this before and truly didn’t believe in it at least until that moment as I witnessed my daughter fighting for her soul as I tried helping.

She would be done by the time we got home, at least so I thought. I would soon realize as I drove from home to pick up my son at youth that the closer we got to the church the more the fight was on. I finally got to the church and parked at the very back away from where everyone else parked. I was terrified and freaked out by this point. I tried phoning the Youth Pastor but there was no answer. I phoned my son and asked him to bring me either to Youth Pastor or Care Coordinator. I explained to the Care Coordinator what had just taken place at she told me someone would be right out. Pastor of Youth, the Executive Pastor and another lady who was a prayer warrior came out to the van and I was told we needed to pray for her and that I needed to lead the prayer. I explained I had never prayed out loud. The Lady took me a side and encouraged me that I could do this and that I needed to do this for my daughter. I prayed out loud for the very first time.

    Not long after, The Youth Pastor gave me a copy of the freedom verses and I am in Christ statements and told me that I had the authority through Christ over the demonic, I didn’t need to be a Pastor to do this, I never knew that, I should declare these verses for my Daughter.

    We would soon be faced with a night none of us will forget as my daughter started into one of her episodes and it would soon change as we all witnesses a deep male voice come out of my daughter’s mouth that told us that she was his and we wouldn’t get her back, the battle was on. We started declaring the verses putting my daughters name in them, the fight escalated to finally she was set free as I demanded Satin to leave by the power and authority I was given in the name of Jesus Christ.

    My daughter would return to her normal episode where she would come up to me and say mommy I’m not feeling well and before I could put my arms out to catch her you could watch every muscle in her body relax. She would drop to the ground and then moments later the non-coherent hallucinations would begin. She got to near the end where she would cycle in and out for 2 three hour sessions in a day.

    I had spent many days & nights begging God to just take me home and set my daughter free. I was asked many times over that period if I had ever thought of taking my own life and my answer always stays the same “no” I feared being separated from God more, because how can you ask God to forgive your sin if your last sin was murdering yourself, you wouldn’t be around to ask for forgiveness.

    One night, while I was trying to restrain my daughter from hurting herself while she was no coherent, we would find ourselves on my mom’s bed. My arms were like Jell-O and it was getting difficult to restrain her for much longer, when I heard a voice. You need to pick up the pillow next to her and all you need to do is just hold it over her long enough to render her unconscious and then your arms can get a rest and she will be safe. I felt like this went on forever, even though it most likely was only minutes. When all of a sudden it was a back and forth between the temptation to place the pillow over my daughter and the scripture when Jesus was tempted in the desert. I chose Christs truth in that moment only by the grace of God.

    My realization was that in that moment that the outcome would have been drastically different if I had given into the voice to take the pillow option. I could have killed my daughter in that moment.

    I finally became broken and found myself curled in the fetal position in my bed balling my eyes out, soaking my pillow as I river of tears flowed. I screamed out to God “I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!!!!!!” before the last words would finish leaving my lips I could feel God drying my tears, there was not a tear to be found as my face and pillow became bone dry. I was flooded with a peace beyond understanding and I could feel the love of my heavenly father wrapped around me. I had died to myself and was reborn. I was still faced with what we were going through but it was now in my Heavenly Fathers arms.fort 

    Shortly after that night doors started opening, wisdom started flowing in and God gave me the strength to wean my daughter off all the prescriptions as he assured me I knew how as I had learned with my son’s Autism medications. As the medication weaned out of her body the symptoms she was experiencing would leave as well, we were finally being able to breath. My daughter would be reconnected with her birth Doctor from Maple Ridge who had semi come out of retirement and he referred her to VGH Epilepsy Clinic where it was confirmed that my daughter was having medication induced status seizures and was assured once the medication had totally left her system life should return to normal. I praise God for what he has done for my family. I would never sign up for what we went through but I would never give up the relationship I have with Jesus Christ now because of what we went through.

God has now brought me to the verses in 2 Corinthians 1:3-11:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.

For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.

God has called me to take off the mask that I have hidden behind for too many years.  He has written the chapters in my life so that I may share the hope and comfort that he has given me through those chapters, such as above. The above is only a small part of that story, as it is only the beginning of a much larger one that continues to be written.